Conflicted and yet not.

As mine time at this school comes to a close I am conflicted on my feelings about leaving. On the one hand It would be nice to get into a job that I can leave at work. So much of my life these past 5 years has been consumed by this school. I go home and work after working at school. It will be nice to actually leave work and go do something else. No grading, no lesson plans, no score study, no planning for the net concert, rehearsal or whatever the f*ck I come up with. No stressing over Special K's incompetence and her unwillingness to change. Let's face it there are quite a few things I will not miss. Faculty meetings for one, useless assemblies, stupid teachers, a band room that floods and has no climate control. Yea maybe my health will improve. I haven't written a lick of music in 5 years because so much of my time has been devoted to this and when I don't have this I am exhausted.

But...

It's really the kids I will miss. I really do love them for the most part. I enjoy that they do drive me crazy at times. I will miss being the smartest one in the room. lol I will miss seeing them every day and watching them progress and grow and become adults. I will miss seeing their big accomplishments. I know they are not my kids but they may be as close as I get And I will miss them.