Belligerent Gay Driver- Tales From the Drive Thru!

What a strange day for our hero. We last saw him speeding away screaming and flipping the bird to some children, who I am sure deserved much worse. Anyway, it was a snowy day and all BGD really wanted was a cheese burger and a coke. It had been a long time since BGD had consumed fast food... shut up, ok it was last week. Back to the story, BGD rounds the corner of the local fast food establishment to find a sea foam green Accord parked roughly 25 ft from the drive thru. The truck "in front" of him was at the speaker. From this scene one may think that the truck just pulled up and the gentleman in the car behind had yet to notice. He was in one of those ambiguous spots where you ask yourself, do you go around or wait. One doesn't want to presume too much in these situations. So BGD waited, and waited... and waited... and honked. The drive who by the way was looking at the back of the truck this entire time decided to pull up. A foot. BGD patiently inches forward to give the drive the ok to move more than the foot he had taken and that in fact there were roughly 20 more he could cover. The driver took no notice. The truck moves on to the payment window. BGD doesn't move, except his hand to the horn where BGD proceeds to give another gentle reminder.

The driver or as we will call him from now on Arch Nemesis, moves up but not really far enough to make it to the speaker. The reason being is that the truck was still 20 feet ahead. One could only assume that was the reason. AN sat two feet from the speaker and 20 from the truck ahead. That was until the truck moved up and then AN felt it was fine to proceed to the speaker. BGD felt that things may now start moving along a bit faster. Foolish hero, AN's window went down, and then back up, and then back down this time for a considerable amount of time, and then back up....











And then the cars started moving. Until it hit the curb and then he backed up giving no heed to the people behind him, which considering the safe distance he gave the truck BGD found odd and proceeded to do some backing up of his own. All things began to move forward again. BGD rolls down the window. "What do you want?" crackled the speaker box. Ummm a better attitude for one thing. BGD found this odd because even the most surly of BK employees at least put on a light facade of giving a shit about their jobs. BGD gives his order and proceeds to the payment window. That was until he was met by, yep you guessed it Arch Nemesis with his window up and no one in front of him at the next window. BGD did not need to do anything because Surly Girl at the payment window knocked on AN's and waved her hand to usher him on to the next destination. BGD was grateful for the unlikely ally.

BGD pays and would like to pull forward but alas AN had his window down and accepting his rations. His window goes up and ... (Wait for it)





BGD honks



Surly Girls side kick Bitchy motioned AN on. He of course only pulled up 3 feet not quite enough room for BGD to pull up get his food and leave. BGD did what any other hero would do. He honked the horn and flipped AN off. AN pulled up 15 feet and stopped. BGD grabs his food and speeds away. AN could very well still be in that parking lot staring at his food.

And the moral of the story is: Move your ass you fuctard.

Holiday Break

As per most holiday breaks I started this one with drinking. Blanche and FN stayed in, but Mom and Romeo were out last Tuesday, I lost count of drinks at 5 I know people had bought me drinks mostly to get me to sing. I am not sure how it happened but I found myself singing "Shiney Happy People" by R.E.M. I had the day off Wednesday and spent a good portion of the day with my friends from Iowa. It was great we had lunch and then went to the Library where we read a little, chatted a lot and had some tea. I know that sounds nerdy but they had not seen the Library since it's renovation so that was the main reason for going. After that we went shopping and then I had to leave to pick mom up for dinner with the boys and Athena. We went to a place called Zing. Very much like Tapas but not Spanish. All the food was great I highly recommend the place and the Tiramisu Martini. After that most of us went to Olleys and drank and then to Gregs to drink. I got bored and went home.

Thursday was time spent with the Family. As I said to my friend Sarah, Holidays should have enough time to spend with the people you love as well as time spent with Family. I actually enjoyed this Thanksgiving mostly because the idiot brother and his shrew of a wife were not there. My eldest niece who is a Freshman in high school told me that she wanted to go to Georgetown and be in the foreign service school. I really hope she does because then she can be an ambassador to a good country that I can go visit. :)

Friday I spent with Xena and the friends from Iowa. We had Turducken. As Jamie called it all day the frankenbird. I just called it Thanksgiving from the Island of Dr. Moreau. For those who don't know it's a Turkey with a duck stuffed inside and a chicken stuffed inside the duck. It also had stuffing and as if that wasn't bad enough we wrapped it in bacon. All in all this abomination of nature was pretty good.

I think it was a good vacation. I only got 3 hrs sleep last night but I am surprisingly awake today. I know it won't happen but I am looking out my window at all the snow and hoping for an early dismissal because of snow. Ah too much to hope for.

Ok so this made me smile.

From time to time I like to see who is reading my blog and many times I get one time hits because they are searching for something and my blog pops up but this one threw me because really who would be searching for "Pretentious Wall Coverings"?????

And to add to my bizaro foreign readers I can say. Welcome readers from Serbia, Bulgaria and Saudi Arabia. The last one gives me pause because now I can add that to the Yemen, Pakistan and Iran readers I don't know what about my blog screams extreme religious fanaticism. (I can't believed I spelled fanaticism right on my first try.)

All I have to Say.

Over two weeks I was to have 3 dates with two separate guys and all three were either canceled or I was completely stood up. Made to wait in a restaurant for 30 minutes alone.



To That I say.

Oh how I love my crack house...

Or my knit shop. Kinda the same thing. I look forward to going there and spend way more than I planned to. Yesterday I went in with the intent of getting one skein of yarn to complete a scarf for my niece. I walked out with two sets of needles, 5 balls of yarn, a pattern for socks and an invitation to come by anytime to work on projects and the people working there would help me out. I also was told that there would be a huge sale the day after Christmas everything in the store at least 30% off. Yes so if you like to knit and live in Indy or may be visiting Indy over Christmas go to the Mass Ave Knit Shop and stock up. They are running the sale till Dec 31st.

So yes I love this place and I encourage all who like to knit to visit this wonderful opium den. Yes I am comparing my knitting habit to drug addiction.

Yes I do know what I am doing.

I come across this every year and in a month or two the satisfaction of being right will come but in the mean time I have to live with "I don't understand why I have to do this?" or "This is a waste of time." or "Why can't I just write like Beethoven." The answer to the last is because Beethoven understood what I am asking you to do. And it's not a waste of time. The old saying is true you can't run before you can sit up. And you students are just learning to roll over. But they will get there, I understand frustrations they are having. I just look forward to the day when the student says "Thanks for making me do that it is so helpful."

It will happen, it always does.

This Bra Bomb had better work nerdlinger.

So joy of nerdy joy, my pocket Constitution came in the mail yesterday. I got it as my gift for making my pledge to Public Radio. I have been doing this for several years and every year I opt out of the gift because I figure that money would be better served for programing. But this year I don't know I felt like I wanted something and when they rattled off the premiums and they hit the pocket Constitution I actually gasped to the woman taking my pledge. It was probably the gayest and nerdiest moment in my life and that is saying a lot. I love the notion that I received the law of the land and contributing to the public discourse. I love NPR I listen to it everyday. I will stop now before I start sounding like their beg-a-thons.

I am a big civics fan I like knowing how things work. Am I an expert?, no but I would like to think I am informed. I think my favorite part is presidential history. I am the only person I know that in elementary school was reading history books, for fun. I also read the dictionary for fun. I was a severely disturbed child.

So I started reading through the constitution it was fun I put it on my night stand next to Sarah Vowell's "The Wordy Shipmate", A book about the years of 1783-1800 in America, and "The Subtle Knife" the second book after "The Golden Compass".

Did I mention I am kind of nerdy.