Christmas Traditions

It has been interesting over the past few days to talk about Christmas traditions in different families. The only ones I can remember where waking up early and claiming our booty and spending the rest of our day becoming quickly bored with all we had gained. Then as I grew older just a lot of uncomfortable family time. As we grew up we developed opinions and judgements of one another. I personally enjoyed throwing my brothers curve balls in how they thought of me. Now I find we don't do much as a family anymore. My brothers will spend time with their wives families and will be in and out sporadically through out the day. So I have found myself developing holiday traditions outside of my family. Christmas night I usually find myself at my friend Maya's parents. We will play Trivial Pursuit. And many of my other friends will be there. It is one of my favorite things. I look forward to it every year. I guess I do have one family tradition that I do look forward to and have been doing for as long as I can remember. I help my parents decorate for Christmas every year. Growing up we never decorated outside because we lived in the middle of nowhere and no one would see it. So my father double the normal indoor lighting. We would light up anything and everything. I still enjoy doing that. I don't think we have put up enough until we can turn off normal lights and still read, then we have enough lights. :)

I would love to come up with some other traditions. So any suggestions I am open to them.

And so it will go part two

So I really have to ask myself why there hell am I even there for other than to do anything

Special K doesn't want to. Number of concert pieces I am doing on this concert 0 Yes boys and girls I am once again getting the shaft without lube or a reacharound. The only thing I am doing is a "pre-concert" that is just suggested to attend for the 2 Jazz Bands and the string ensemble. I have been relegated to the bastard stepchild position. Number of students STUDENTS!!!!!!! that get to be in front of the concert band. 1 that is yes one more than I get. This has more to do with her laziness than her malicious nature. She waited 4 weeks to start concert band the only reason we started that late because she didn't do the folders. Thus we had to delay playing tests which apparently only I can do and thus I got almost no podium time. Because I had to spend all my time doing playing tests. But whatever. I am done with her and as soon as I can speak to my department chair and the Principle I will not be back next fall.

I have to say this really upsets me a lot because I really liked these kids and this job and I have to say I am pretty damned good at it. Such as how my life has been going lately so I am not terribly surprised.

Tagalong

I have decided that I am content in just being a homebody. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy going out and being with friends. This time of year I realize more and more that I have friends who like to go to parties and good for them, however I only like to go when I know the host. By knowing the host I mean I can do more than pick them out of a line up. I feel like such an interloper when I am at these functions when I am a "tagalong" with my friends. I am not very good at making friends out of strangers. I am very shy I know that may be hard to believe but I am. I assume that if they don't talk to me they don't want me to approach them. So you see why I wouldn't like being someplace where I know no one. I figure I have friends that I neglect now why make more to neglect later. I am kidding of course. I am not opposed to meeting people I am just bad at it. Probably yet another reason I don't date, well that and my incredibly bad luck when it comes to men. I find it fun when I find out people who stop returning phone calls to me are now dating others. I always assume they are incapable of dating. But this must not be true. What must be true is that they are incapable of dating me.

Grrr

I am so hating everything right now. I am completely depressed. I am incredibly lonely. I hate my job. And I feel like in the last 6 months I have been forced out of everything I have enjoyed. I fuckin hate that people who don't know me talk about me. I honestly don't care what they think but it effects my relationships with other people. I feel like I should be the way they say I am. Just so they can see what an asshole I can be.