downsized... ?funny my pants don't fit any better.

Well it was what I thought. I figured actually that they would just combine a few of my classes and reduce me to part time. But what made it worse was not that they were reducing my classes so much as they were shifting them over to Special K so she could remain full time. You see my classes were just fine. I had enough students in mine to allow me to stay but she didn't she had two of her classes completely empty for the next year. Tell me what is wrong with all of this. I do my job, I get kids into my classes and where does it get me. by eliminating those 3 classes all they did was reduce my work load by 10% I would still be running 2 ensembles and assisting with another. That is the bulk of my job as it is. Of course we can eliminate 10% of the work load and 40% of the pay. Yes normally I would say just get a part time job and weather the storm but really I would be killing myself to do so. The hectic schedule would only be worse by trying to work another job. So at this point I am looking to just find something new at a much higher salary.

We shall see.

So I received a very ominous email from my principal wanting to see me sometime today to discuss my teaching "Schedule" for next year. Honestly the only thing I can think of is that he wants to ship me back to part time and eliminate several of my classes. With that in mind I will have to find something new because I can not afford to go back to that salary.

Yes I would like to find something new but I don't want to have to.

If anyone knows of anything let me know.

Can you say big waste of time?

So yesterdays "Professional Development" was ...interesting. One could also say big fucking waste of time. Indeed my colleague sitting next to me did. Most if not all of our professional development to date have been classes on how to use the grading software, Excel, different ways of assessing students, so on and so forth. Anyway this one was based on a book that each teacher was given back in December. It was a book I had no intention of reading. About 2 months ago we were told that we would be having a PD day over the book and that we should all read it. I love to read but when I am made to read something I have no interest in I usually don't and I didn't. The speaker was a priest who came in and lectured for 2.5 hours on the importance of forgiveness. Here's the thing, this isn't news people, anyone with half a brain knows that the act of forgiving someone is not for them as much as it's for you so that you can deal with whatever is bothering you. In the case of the main character in the book "God", who was portrayed as an old black women, said that if this man didn't seek to forgive the man that brutally killed his young daughter that it would eat at him till it killed him. The priest went on and on about the importance of forgiving, blahty,blahty,blah. Well as S said last night "Really I figured you would enjoy having a priest tell you what to do." Yea... no. So here is my real question how was that either Professional or Development. It wasn't even brought into a relationship of teaching. It was just a lecture on forgiveness. Well here's the thing I don't do forgiveness, I carry a grudge. I'm sorry that is just how I am.

Spotlight 09

So I have made some new friends over the past few months. They, like me enjoy the nerdy things in life as well as enjoy being social but also know the importance of staying home. Anyway J had a ticket to Spotlight which is a fundraiser for Indiana AIDS Fund. Basically arts organizations in Indy get together and do a variety show. It very cool a kind of taste of the Arts kind of thing. Plus the ticket was free and there was an open bar so you know I was there. The evening was great the performances were stellar. What wasn't stellar was the child who sat in front of me playing his Nintendo DS. His parents were sitting right there letting him. I mean my mother and father would have never let me bring it let alone play it. Don't bring your child if you are going to let him do that. It is completely ridiculous that you would ever allow it. Am I wrong on this?

What I want to be when I grow up. ?

I really don't know anymore. I have been giving this a lot of thought lately because of the fact I love my job but hate particular aspects of it. Special K being one of them., the lack of money and the incredible amount of time it eats up. Granted my summers are free and clear but I would much rather have my time spread a bit more evenly. I always feel I am playing catch up and am always letting some aspect of my life slide. I have yet been able to keep a steady workout schedule outside of summer. My personal life has been mia for the last 6 years. I barely have time for my friends let alone new people or sometimes myself. It's very frustrating.

So with all that in mind I have been doing some job searches. Nothing solid and yes I have sent a few resumes out but really I just don't see too much coming my way. The greater question what do I want to do. And the honest answer is I don't know and I don't care. The real criteria would be something different and it pays better. You all know I am not about the money but I can't continue stress about money on a daily basis as I have been for the past 10 years.

So if anyone knows of anything, relocating is completely an option.

Educational Philosophy

As we all know my brothers can be a bit... how shall I put this... dumb as a sack of hammers. As Xena has asked several times, how is it I am part of this family? Well that question remains strong in my mind. This weekend just continued this thought. As we were talking I brought up that some elementary schools have toyed with or have cut their science programs for K-5. My brother thought this outrageous. I agreed and then he said I would cut band before science. Yes he knows I teach music. I said really we shouldn't cut anything. He followed with "But don't you think there are some completely useless classes?" I said "No but there are some completely useless teachers in all subjects." He then went on "Well, what really is a humanities class and what good is it?" Instead of engaging I rolled my eyes and got up. I did say as I was leaving "I could explain but you wouldn't get it." This banter would have ended until he said "I got through a 4 year degree program without a foreign language." I countered with "I got through a 4 year program with one semester of a science, but I don't think that was right." But whatever.

It did get me to thinking that my view on education is completely different then most peoples. I really feel the best teacher I ever had was my High School Physics teacher. The reason he was the best was because I really feel his goal was not to teach me physics but to be responsible, diligent, the ability to think critically and a laundry list of skill that are not physics. Physics was his vehicle to teach me all these other things. That is how I approach my subject or at least I would like to think I do. Because if they learn something about music bonus but I want them to learn how to get this knowledge themselves and how to be better people.

For me it's not all about the subject. It's about a greater message and to give the students the ability to learn on their own as well as the joy of learning. Which is why I feel all subjects have value and that every class can be bad.

But let's just say I still think my brother is an idiot.