My Saturday was so f'ed up I can't even describe.

But I am going to anyway.

So here is a little back story fun. My mother cuts my hair she always has only 2 other people in this world have, well three if you count the time I was 4 and wanted to see if I could just do it myself. I got lots of complements I remember everyone looking at me and smiling and saying "I love your hair cut." And I would respond in the only way a 4 year old could. "Thanks I did it myself". I know they wanted to respond with "I can tell" but they were polite and just told I did a good job. And that is when I learned how to be polite and sarcastic at the same time.

Anyway

So my mother is currently the only person allowed to cut my hair. I like to keep it short and neat nothing fancy. The problem is when it is to be short and neat it needs to be cut about every two weeks. Which is usually fine and sometimes I can stretch it to 3 without anyone noticing. However this year I went 3 months without getting it cut. I was totally rocking a great 80's wave with my bangs. It was hot, I was channeling my inner Zach Morris.

So this meant I had to drive up to my moms at some point and get this done. Because I priced men's hair cuts around town and I am not going back to Great Clips, do I even need to explain that. And Damn, it's pricing to get my hair cut. Having only paid twice and being dissatisfied both times I am sticking with my mother.

So on Saturday I wake up wishing I didn't have to drive an hour just to get my hair cut but I am also going to continue decluttering the house. It has been a chore to say the least. When I arrived I found that my brothers are just not helping the situation. I have 2 brother who live close by, they also have children of their own. They also drop their children off quite a lot. My mother is 65 and has a managers schedule for a retail store. Which means she on average works 50+ hours a week and on top of that takes their children to school every morning and many times picks them up as well or babysits because my brother and his wife are just too tired to deal. What do I say to that, "too fucking bad". Thus my mother house is in a constant state of upheaval. It wouldn't be so bad if they were helping out but the thing is I know they aren't. When I who lives an hour away has to come up and clean it gets old. I would really rather work on getting the upstairs cleared out so that it is functional again. If you have seen the show hoarders you then know what my mothers upstairs looks like. Many times I don't even get to that because I am too busy picking up toys, paper, juice cups and cheerio that have been thrown on the floor.

I want my mother to be happy and healthy but having these jackasses take advantage of her is not going to make her happy or healthy. Just continuing up the ladder of favored son.

As I was finishing up at my mother I get a text from Blanche and he asked about going to the Casino. I was for it. Unfortunately I would be in the clothes I wore to clean and my hair freshly cut which meant I would have loose hair on my shirt but we were going to a whitetrash redneck casino so I didn't care. My casino philosophy is that I only spend $20 and when it's gone it's gone. Which usually works for me. So with my twenty in hand I go to the $.01 slots and spin once, twice and hit 20 free spins. From that I win like $82. I immediately cash out. I had $100 why keep going. I pocket $80 and debate what to do next.

I know I will taunt Blanche and FN, which is what I do. Well that only last 5 minutes and so I take my original $20 and sit down again at the penny slots and expect to squander that away in no time. 10 spins in I hit the free spins again rack up another $60. I again immediately cash out. I am now up $140 and this is where it pretty much stops I played the original $20 away and left with far more money then I walked in with. Sadly the same can not be said for FN and Blanche.

After that FN and I went to Gregs where the Big Gay Band was having a fundraiser. I thought I was saving FN from a guy but I wasn't. The guy was pretty trashed and it was like shooting fish in a barrel to make fun of him so that is pretty much how I spent my evening. The drunk guy started flirting pretty heavily with me which was fine because a person I know, we will call him Toby took a shine to the drunk mess. Let's see Toby could aggravate the balls off a pool table and quite frankly if he never spoke to me again I would be ecstatic. Anyway drunk mess drags me to the dance floor and tries to make out with me. I feel this would have been better if we were both in the same state of intoxication. He was drunk I was not. It was clear he was drunk and was way flirty. I did drive him back to his hotel and before you get too excited nothing much happened. I got him up to his hotel room and we pretty much just passed out. The next morning we made out but he wasn't very good when sober. So I just excused myself and went home.

And that was my Saturday.

The End