What to Look for?

I had a conversation with my friend Xena the other evening and she has just finished getting divorced. In the conversation I confided in her that my friends have made it their mission when we are in Florida to get me laid. Now I appreciate that my friends care so much for my sexual well being but I said to Xena, who ps and btw loved that idea, "I really don't need people to get me laid and I most certainly don't need sex from a random stranger" I continued without really thinking. "Look as long as I have a good date at least every six months I'll be good and I had one January 1st so I am good till June." Of course it hit me we will be going to Florida on June 2nd. This concerned me because I just made a statement that I can't even follow through on. I mean really honestly am I going to find someone to have a date with in the next month??? Probably not.

The sad truth of it all I have found that my love life has become stagnate, more over my whole social life has gone the way of the Dodo. I always hated those people who read self help books and always have hated the phrase "So I read in this book about meeting/making/doing insert problem in life that needs to be fixed...." I have never wanted to be that person but I have actually been reading a book about dating and finding what you want. The sad thing is the book doesn't address the main issue that I think faces all single people, first you must be happy with yourself and then find someone not to complete your life but to share your life with and them with you. So often I hear "I am looking for the one to complete me." I hate that, it implies that you as yourself is not good enough. I really dislike that thinking and it is so overplayed in our society. I mean look at any show most of the men and women on there are looking for the right fit and it's just not there. If you try to find that piece to complete you and you find it in someone and they leave does that mean you change when they come and go.

Say you are missing 25% of you and the other person only fills in 20% of you. Do you just have a hole or do they fill it with extra them? And no one thinks "How can I complete someone?" So most people are coming to the dating table needy and who needs that.

I think we should all focus on what we can bring to the table, good and bad. Because when we date it's not ala carte. You can't just date the guy who can be charming to you but leave the bitchy to the wait staff at home. So I think it is up to all of us singletons out there it to find what is good about us as well as the bad about us. I think we hate our flaws to be brought out in the light of day is because it is only when others do it we finally see them. At that point we don't want to deal and work on them we just want to be hurt and resentful that someone else pointed them out. I think the more you are aware of flaws the more apt you are to correct them. And therefore better able to cope with dating.

Now the question becomes I know why I am a great catch I just don't understand why others don't see it.:o) I understand that what I want in a relationship and a man are not easily found in the gay world especially the limited gay world of Indiana. I mean really how many intelligent, witty, honest, nonsmokers that want to have kids, men are there in the world?

I know some people that think I shouldn't ask more of a potential date then I myself am capable of but fuck that I want to be challenged by the guy I date. I would also like to challenge someone, in a good way:o), it's nice to think that you can help someone be a better person.