New Year?

So with this new year I hesitate to say anything is really new. I mean I still write 09 as the year and the scribble it out and put 10. That's not really new I always need about 2 months to get on board with that. I don't need the year to be new to look at myself and say "I wish I could drop a few pounds." Because really I do it most everyday. It's not like we get a new year smell like we do with cars.

But wouldn't it be weird if we did?

So I am focusing on something old, we call her Blanche.
Just kidding.

Really I just need to keep record of were I am, yes weight has been an issue for me. Not that I ever want to be as thin as I once was because really that was just unhealthy. At the same time I am not happy with my size now. 140 at my lowest and thinnest and 240ish at my heaviest. I am a stress eater. It's a vicious cycle one I just need to break. I stopped weighing myself around May and I know I went way up probably more than I thought. The upside to being homeless and staying with friends I don't have the money to eat out and that is going to change your eating habit. Also J & D eat a lot better than I do. Well D does, J just has to hide the snack foods. So with that I know my caloric intake has been much lower since October. It's one thing to eat a large pizza when you are the only one watching but when there are spectators you feel the shame more.

So back to time line at Christmas I started weighing myself again and I was at 238lbs. At the start of January I was at 235. I am today at 229. I am not even going to set a goal. I am just going to ride this and see where it takes me. I do miss biking and that will help when I can get back to that. But in the mean time I am just going to continue the habit and see what happens. I do miss feeling better in my own skin. I have always felt I was over weight even when I was super skinny but it wasn't a constant like it has been for the last 8 years.

So who wants qdoba?