Life in the Pits.

Well another season of high school musicals are upon us. When I say us I mean mostly me because unless you are a student involved, a parent with a student involved, or just whoring out your talents there really is no reason for anyone to go see high school musicals. Not "High School the Musical", well really there is no reason for that either.

I say whoring out my services in the pit because I am getting paid and paid well (twice as much as union players) and most times I enjoy it but this time around not so much. We are doing "Thoroughly Modern Millie", which if you have had the misfortune of seeing you understand my pain. It's pretty racist and misogynistic, and to be putting it on the stage in a high school is pretty awful in my book. But then again at the end of the run I get a big fat check that is like having another paycheck worth basically two weeks.

Normally I really have fun in these things because most times the music is fun and challenging something I don't get when I sit with the students and play there parts in concert band. This music however may be tough it's just not that interesting. Now several years ago I playing in "Anything Goes", great music, terrible plot. Millie is just terrible music, terrible plot. It got to a point I was waiting for someone to come out in black face and do a Jolson bit. When you have two Chinese "helpers" *read "slaves"* and their names are Bung Foo and Ching Ha, I gotta ask why in the 21st century are we doing this without a hint of irony? I mean really why not call them Chinky Winky and Benni Hanna.

I digress, but not by much because I have a huge problem with the major plot line is the main character trying to snag her boss as a husband. I gotta shake my head and ask how exactly is this a "Modern"? Actually I can get over the plot lines because for the most part musicals have very bad and thin plots to start. Really it's the music that brings the people in the story is secondary, always has been always will be. Which infuriates me, because I like clever stories with good music. Don't get me wrong there are a few good musicals out there I am just hard pressed to find them. I know, I know this makes me a bad homo because I don't like musicals. And if that were the only thing that made me a bad homo I would be good but alas the lack of Bette, Madonna, and Cher in my music library as the gay mafia threatening to take my card away.

Back to Millie. So I had a thought what would a Thoroughly Post Modern Millie be like. My friend lets call her Lesbian 1 (L1) said it wouldn't make much sense. There would be lots of random shouting, lots of smoking, berets, bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, and it would probably be in German. I said "So Cabaret" she replied "Yeah pretty much."