Bored now

Slight frustration at work. These people do not know how to schedule. It was a nightmare today, they had a service fair and had it in the middle of the day and it was just Jacked up no one knew where the hell they were suppose to be or when. Tomorrow all of the Soph. and Jrs are taking the psats and they have never sent a schedule for that. I am going to assume that it will start at the same time school usually starts. If not I will either be late or early. I don't know when things are to start and end so this will be fun. I did a dry run of reading over the instructions and all I have to say is, no wonder I was glad to leave high school. All this testing bullshit is exhausting. It will take like 30 minutes just to fill out the form and their damned survey questions before we get to the actual test.And you have to do this shit twice once in 10th and then again in 11th grade.


Whatever!

Happy genocide day

I hope everyone enjoyed their day of genocide also known as Columbus Day. I like to look at it in the good light of human curiosity. Exploration may not have been the initial reason, all things are economically motivated, but that is what occurred when Columbus and many other fortune hunts found the continents in the western hemisphere. I also know that many of those natives were slaughtered and many died of unexpected disease. But… where was I going with this oh yes without all of that I might not have become friends with great person. Yes I was reminded yesterday that we became friends after I overheard her conversation about celebrating Columbus Day by putting three ships in her front lawn. I knew I must have this person as a friend. Columbus Day is one of those weird holidays that people don't like to recognize too much and are ashamed of liking because it does draw up images of small pox and land grabbing and countless slaughtered men, women, and children from sea to shining sea. Really makes you proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. Yes as a white male age 25-40 I am probably freer than most people. And now I am one of those who are insured and not leaching off good tax paying god fearing Americans like me. Well actually not like me I don't go in for that whole god fearing thing. I also don't think those without coverage are necessarily leaching off anyone. They have a rough sitch I should know I was one of them. I have spent more of my life without a safety net than with one. My parents were self employed and couldn't afford it and I had a job that offered it for 2 years and now this job so like 30 years without kind of a long time. But back to Columbus Day, it's hard to say I like where I live and how I live without being reminded of all those people that lost so much. I also have to look at it realistically, I didn't do it, there is no way for me to change history and so I just do the best I can to make life better for as many people as possible and go from there. So sad day for ancient cultures but I got a great friend out of it.And really isn't that what Columbus was trying to discover, a friend for me. :)

All I can say is drunk

Mission accomplished. I know that phrase has recieved a bad rep with the current administration but it is applicable. Last night I was hoping to drink myself to a new state of mind and tonight I am there. I love warm weather I can walk(stumble ) home from the bars. To recap my day High school students = drama and I am so over that. To my friend Romeo, for what it's worth sorry and it will be better. For Sarah, No I was not talking about you and when sober there will be a retraction. For all those looking for incoherent I hope that satisfied because I am so not using spell check or really looking at the screen right now.

Later all

Sorry

I am sure I am letting you down this is a completely sober blog entry. I too was hoping for something a little more incoherent. I was hoping to be a bit tipsy tonight but alas I am home sober. Boooooooooo.
The day was boring came in and mostly made copies all morning. Today was a half day and it's the Friday of Homecoming so they did all their fun crap today and the pep rally before the "big game". I use the quotes because it is always the same team. And we always slaughter them. Score at the end of the first quarter Us 35 Them 0. Yep you read that right 5 touch downs in 12 minutes. The other fun thing is that we had to start an hour behind because the other team hit bad traffic and was delayed. So we said fuck it we are leaving after the 3rd quarter. The main reason is that the homecoming dance is also going on during the football game. Game starts at 7:00 Dance starts at 8:00. Of course tonight the game started at 8:00. Most all the students had vacated the stands by the end of the half when they knew who was King and Queen. Very much like Butler homecoming. So the kids were eager to go and so was I. The third string was in tons of JV and we were still up 62 to 0 when we left at the end of the 3rd. So said I begin to root for the other side just to score... once. I feel bad for that team to drive 3 hours get the shit kicked out of them and then return home 3 hrs. When I am hearing Band kids names over the PA because they are in the game I know it's sad.
Ok and here was the kicker of the evening. So a kid got a call that a friend of his died after surgery today. Rightfully so he should be upset. He didn't go to our school but a lot of kids knew him and then several kids who didn't know the kid who had died but their friends were crying started crying too. They even announced over the speakers and had a moment to silence for the kid. Then 20 minutes later, we are told the kid is not dead. ?????? I don't know it blows my mind to. I had sent a kid home at the start of this because he was so upset. Several kids were upset and then they were told he was fine. I mean come on who does that. Who calls and says someone is dead when they didn't know for sure. Ah Drama, gotta love it. Such an interesting night.

Maybe the weekend will get better and by get better I mean I get drunk at some point.

WTF?

Yea I don't know what yesterday was all about. I think today I will let loose with a bit of my own failings. Yes I have an addiction and yes the first step to recovery is to admit I have a problem. Though this addiction will come as no surprise to anyone, if you have read any of my drunken rant blogs it will all make sense. Fried foods are my weakness in particular fried cheese. On some occasions I will leave my house late at night (9:00pm how did that become late????) and drive to White Castle and order up some cheese sticks. Yes I know why those last 20lbs of fat will not vacate the premises because of this action. Now this may sound like justification but I don't do this every night, some nights I am already in bed by 9. OK ok ok I know I should not be doing this, but they are so damned good. But but I am going to the gym, ok not as regularly as during the summer but I haven't stopped altogether so kudos to me. Of course the kudos is negated by the cheese sticks. So yes I have a problem and I am admitting to it but do I really want help? Nope. Now when I pick up meth we can talk.

Why do we do the things that we do?

Why the hell do we do anything really? In a conversation about the relative politeness of society in general I got to thinking why do we do anything. What also got me to thinking about this is that I believe it is Emily Posts birthday soon I didn't really catch the beginning of the radiocast, well would have she's dead. This is they quote the used from her, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Here is a fine example of telling us that we need not seek acknowledgement for our deeds. Yes attention is good we all like attention, well except the kind you get when you show up naked to school, but you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel we do things strictly because we want someone to notice. I was having a discussion today about a study talking about people who hold the door open for others as opposed to those who do not. How we get upset when someone doesn't hold it open for us or how we don't think twice when we neglect others. We also tend to get upset when people don't say thank you when you do. Do we do it for the thanks? Because really I'd rather a tip. Seriously, we do a number of things in our lives for the credit. I understand the irony of my next statement, but how many people throw their personal lives out into cyberspace for people to gawk at and ask them to admire us for our witty commentary on life. (Ok I need to justify myself if I were indeed throwing myself out there don't you think it wouldn't be set to private so only my friends could look at it. This is easier than Christmas newsletters and phone calls. Plus you should see what I write in my real journal.) Speaking of Christmas I remember when I made the awful suggestion to my family to take the money they would have spent on the gift exchange and give it to a charity. Boy was I met with blank stares and sarcastic laughter. Yes I do get it from somewhere and my family is a torrent of snide comments and backtalk. Back to my point, at Christmas it's all about getting the most for others so they know you like them and then in return getting a huge amount. Over the years I just don't get it. I buy gifts I love giving gifts but not out of an obligation but because I want to. My gift giving can be very sporadic some years yes some years no. If I see something that makes me think of a friend and I have the money I will get it. Because I know they would like it. Sometimes it's the little things that may seem stupid to others but I hope will convey my sentiment. I gave my mother a stone with the Chinese symbol for love on it. It is to be a paper weight but I thought it was a nice gesture. Of course I had to explain it to my mom but everyone else in my family laugh and said why would you buy her a rock that's just stupid. I just rolled my eyes and had the kids not been there I think I would have just said fuck off. If I were concerned that others needed to see some grand monetary gesture I would have passed over that. It wasn't that I wanted my mother to know acknowledge the thought behind it but to actually feel it. And it makes me feel good that she has it on her night stand. To me that is better than a fuck off to my brothers any day.

ugh

I have been so out of it lately. I am home sick today. I have been feeling this coming on for days, weeks even. I have just been refusing to acknowledge it's presence in my life. Even on my free weekend I found that I needed to work, work, work, and not just be. Granted I did get a lot done that needed to be but still come on. Every part of my body aches or flat out hurts. Its 7 am on a day I am home sick and I have already sent emails to all my classes and to the subs for those classes. If I wasn't vomiting I do believe I would be there right now. This is such a far cry from college when if I felt slightly tired I was in bed and would have remained there for days to recover. I don't know if that was because I wasn't interested in what I was doing or what. I am very interested in what I am doing these days. Even though I may not love my co worker I do love the job. I actually look forward to the day, even the long and unbearably tiring days. Today would have been one of those days; there is still a part of me that says I could pull it together for the second half. But I do believe I am on the best diet ever this morning I think I have lost 5lbs and I have no appetite. lol