Why the hell do we do anything really? In a conversation about the relative politeness of society in general I got to thinking why do we do anything. What also got me to thinking about this is that I believe it is Emily Posts birthday soon I didn't really catch the beginning of the radiocast, well would have she's dead. This is they quote the used from her, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Here is a fine example of telling us that we need not seek acknowledgement for our deeds. Yes attention is good we all like attention, well except the kind you get when you show up naked to school, but you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel we do things strictly because we want someone to notice. I was having a discussion today about a study talking about people who hold the door open for others as opposed to those who do not. How we get upset when someone doesn't hold it open for us or how we don't think twice when we neglect others. We also tend to get upset when people don't say thank you when you do. Do we do it for the thanks? Because really I'd rather a tip. Seriously, we do a number of things in our lives for the credit. I understand the irony of my next statement, but how many people throw their personal lives out into cyberspace for people to gawk at and ask them to admire us for our witty commentary on life. (Ok I need to justify myself if I were indeed throwing myself out there don't you think it wouldn't be set to private so only my friends could look at it. This is easier than Christmas newsletters and phone calls. Plus you should see what I write in my real journal.) Speaking of Christmas I remember when I made the awful suggestion to my family to take the money they would have spent on the gift exchange and give it to a charity. Boy was I met with blank stares and sarcastic laughter. Yes I do get it from somewhere and my family is a torrent of snide comments and backtalk. Back to my point, at Christmas it's all about getting the most for others so they know you like them and then in return getting a huge amount. Over the years I just don't get it. I buy gifts I love giving gifts but not out of an obligation but because I want to. My gift giving can be very sporadic some years yes some years no. If I see something that makes me think of a friend and I have the money I will get it. Because I know they would like it. Sometimes it's the little things that may seem stupid to others but I hope will convey my sentiment. I gave my mother a stone with the Chinese symbol for love on it. It is to be a paper weight but I thought it was a nice gesture. Of course I had to explain it to my mom but everyone else in my family laugh and said why would you buy her a rock that's just stupid. I just rolled my eyes and had the kids not been there I think I would have just said fuck off. If I were concerned that others needed to see some grand monetary gesture I would have passed over that. It wasn't that I wanted my mother to know acknowledge the thought behind it but to actually feel it. And it makes me feel good that she has it on her night stand. To me that is better than a fuck off to my brothers any day.
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