Seriously

Since I have the day off I have been watching a lot of TV and I just saw a commercial for a show called "Raising the Bar" and at the end of the commercial it said "Don't miss the next episode of 'Raising the Bar' brought to you by Viagra." Really? Could we be a little more blatant in our advertising?

Open Letter

To my friends and strangers who blog,

I am bored. You people need to start writing or I am going to be forced to do real work and nobody wants that.

Thank you

9.5

That is how many hours before I am free of the shackles. I will have a 4 day weekend with no commitments to this school to bring me back here. What really sucks is that I couldn't just leave as soon as the bell rings. No I have to come back for Parent Teacher Conferences. Which would be fine if I didn't just sit there and have no one to talk to. Parents don't come to talk to me for the most part the kids are doing fine in my class or if they are not I have already spoken with the parents so nothing really to discuss. So there I will be with my computer open with nothing to do but Bubble shooter.

Yet another busy weekend.

So my weekends have been filling up lately and I am so glad that I have a 3 day work week this week. Thank god for Fall break. So any way Friday night was the first night of sectional play and is it bad of me to have hoped for a loss so we wouldn't have any more games to play for? Sad times though because we won. Damn it! Well the upshot was that because I had also made plans for Friday night I got to leave at the half. I ran home and changed for a Halloween party. The boys and mom (not my real mother) decided to do a group number and we went as the Munsters. I was Grandpa, mom as Eddie, Blanche as Lily and FN as Herman. We would have had a Marilyn if Romeo had felt better, but he stayed home. I got really drunk (shock) and ended up at Gregs for a bit until someone said something about food and we then proceeded to Olleys for breakfast. To tell you how drunk I was I smudged my make up on the window of Olleys. Did I mention I used my face to smudge it there? I did wipe most of it off with a napkin but a lot of it was still there the next night.

Speaking of, Yes I know I said I would never do the Bag Lady Bus tour again but I went to take care of my friends Athena and Mom. This was Athena's first time and I think she had mixed feelings about it. My problem the last time I did it was that the bars we went to were so damned crowded, people smoking on the buses and it went on for like 8 hours. This time around there were less people in the bars or I opted out of going into the bars, No one could smoke on the buses and they shortened the tour so I was much happier and we didn't run out of booze. That was helped because on one of the stops I ran to the liquor store and got more Jack Daniels. :) All went well there was no vomiting on the bus this year and no one tried to grab my junk. Though it was touch and go (so to speak) in the 501, Athena and Mom thought it would be great to pimp me out to the dirty old men. I just smiled a lot and didn't offer up any body parts. It was fun to meet Cherry Ride who is a part of my blog roll but you wouldn't know it since he hasn't blogged in like 2 months. Cherry came done from Chicago with his friends who use to live in Indy. Here is hoping this jump starts his blogging again.

Let's see what else happened on that bus tour. I was accosted by a member of the Big Gay Band. He I believe thinks that we are no friends because I left the band. I am not sure why that is. I stated to him that my reasons for leaving is because people obsess over the BGB and want to stir up drama. Much like his wanting to continue the conversation at the next 15 stops on the tour. He told me that he agrees that people are gossipy and drama and need to let things go. Yet there I was rehashing things I had let go of months ago. Thank god FN understood I needed saving and got me out the first time. I was like let it go man I am not drunk enough to deal with you. I appreciate that he acknowledges that they are messed up and need a lot of fixing and that I could have done some good but I don't care anymore. This would have been a good revelation to have had a year ago.

Now on to something else. Shout outs go to Veronica Storm, Ladonna, Donna Rhea and my gurl Halle Pino for competing in the Bag Lady Pageant and congrats to Donna Rhea as the new Bag Lady Queen. And because I loves me some Halle Pino I will say this once and in public, Halle was robbed!! :) That was for you Halle love you, mean it.

Well that pretty much rounds out my weekend. It was long and tiring but a good time was had by me.

My life on tv

So I for some reason last night watched two episodes of Nanny 911. Yea, I don't know either. Anyway I was noticing some parallels in what was going on in the show and what goes on at work. Special K is the worrying mother that doesn't want to discipline the children and do everything for them but gets upset when the children won't do for themselves or behave. And I am the Father who goes around yelling at the kids and cleaning up after them and then gets angry at the mother for inconsistent behavior. I gotta say it was way creepy to see it being played out on TV. I mean really it is exactly what I see every day. Example I just received a call from Special K. Saying the truck that she rents for the band that needs to go back today is still full of stuff. I have been telling her all week to get it done. But she calls me and wants me to send my class, My Class over to unload it in the rain. My lesson plan be damned. I love how she asks if I have a class right now. I should have said no because I don't answer the phone during class unlike someone I might mention. Seriously what the f*ck is her problem. I told her no because I am giving a quiz on Monday and today they have to review. Sorry about her, I have my stuff planned and I need to stick to my schedule. She is so disorganized, she has had since last Saturday when we got back from regionals to get that done. I said that night we should have unloaded it. She said it would be fine to wait for Monday, of what week!?!?!?!?!?!?

Anyway back to my original thought do you think that the Nanny's would want to come and work with a band?

Sad times

I knew it wouldn't last. I knew I would find something that would break us up. I just had no idea it would be so soon and I would grow to despise him so quickly. I am speaking of course about my imaginary bf, the hot guy who moved in down the hall last month. I never even learned his name. But it matters not. When I saw the McCain/Palin sign in the window of his apartment and I knew it could never be. So long hot guy down the hall.

Busy weekend

Here is a recap of my weekend.

Friday Work and then a football game. The football game was annoying and I will tell you why. First we have no field to play on so we must travel somewhere in the city to play our games. This is fun let me tell you. So with that in mind as I was leaving the campus a parent comes running up to tell me that no one was driving the last shuttle of kids as they just sat in the van. As I was pulling my car back into it's parking space another parent jumped into the drivers seat. Great because I hate driving kids anywhere. So I am following the last shuttle and it stops on Emerson and the parent gets out of the car and walks back to my car and tells me that a student is back at the school. So I turn around and go back for the student. I pick her up and we head back down town to the game. I am just seconds from the field when Special K calls to tell me a kid left his instrument at the school. Not just a student but a Senior and one who thought he should have been section leader, uh huh. I pull up let the child out and Special K tells me not only did one student leave their instrument but 2 others as well. So I turn back around and drive back to the school for the instruments. I get them and get back to the game roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes after I started. Yes giving new meaning to driving all over hells half acre.

Saturday starts with a phone call from Romeo seeing if I wanted to do breakfast with him and Blanche. I say sure and head to the shower but before I get there my phone rings and it's a parent who needs into the shed. I ask if they had tried Special K they said yes but she wasn't answering. Great! I head to school and let them in and then I go home shower, change and head to breakfast. Good breakfast and a much needed break from kids since I had to leave breakfast and go back to school where I load buses and go to southern Indiana for a marching band competition. We lost but that is fine. At least that meant we didn't have another weekend of this crap. So we get home around midnight and the last kids is picked up about 1am and then I can go home.

Sunday I get up and lay in bed contemplating getting up. An hour later I get up and move to the couch. 3 hours later I get up and take a shower. At this point I need to get ready and go back to school for an Orchestra concert. That all goes fine and I am pleased with the way they played. Was it great? No, but it was head and shoulders above where there were last year for the first concert. I had many people not sure what the songs were that they played. I couldn't have told you and I had the score in front of me. This year however it sounded great (for them) and you could recognize and even hum along to the tunes. So bravo to my Strings. :)

After that I ran home to change because I didn't feel like staying in a suit for the rest of the night. I then head to a drag show. My friend Blanche aka Summer Clearance did a great number where she was dressed as Sarah Palin and performed to Harper Valley PTA. I must say the "illusion" of the Governor was spot on. I was very impressed with how he pulled it off. Now the main reason I was there was to support Halle Pino (Romeo) who was competing that night for the crown of Bag Lady Queen. She did a great job and I hope she wins. She has done a lot for the Bag Ladies which is a fundraising organization that is a group of men in dresses. I do not call them Drag Queens because for many of them the female illusion is lost when there is a full beard and chest hair especially when your evening gown has a plunging neck line. I do give a shout out to all the Bag Ladies who competed this year but I still hope my girl Halle wins. She did a fierce performance to a dance remix of Can You Feel the Love Tonight. Of course she did it in a cat outfit complete with ears and tail. Also for the talent potion you would be amazed what she can do to/with a piccolo. And yes I boiled it before I put it back in it's case.

So that was my surreal weekend. And I wasn't drunk for any of it. Though I wanted to be.

*Shaking my head*

So I was walking through the student parking lot today and in a span of 100 ft I saw a Porsche, Lexus, Mercedes and a BMW. I have the wrong job.

So very bored

So yesterday the students took the PSAT and I had to proctor one of the classrooms and let me tell that is just more fun the a big box of black death. It's just super boring at least the kids had a test to kill the time I just had to sit there. Of course I spent the time grading quizzes and whatnot but that can only take up so much time. So it became boring really fast.

Speaking of boring after the testing we had a professional development day. This one involved diversity. I feel we as teachers do a good job diversifying our curriculum to reflect a diverse world. I mean I understand when you are teaching English Lit you can only get so diversified. But over all I think we do a good job. I also feel we make every class as inclusive as possible. I know my classes are pretty well rounded and I would like to think that each of those kids feel like they are getting the attention they need. So I ask if we are doing that and have a person whose job title is Director of Diversification and she has a committee of faculty members and a club on campus for it. Why are we doing this again? I don't know. I am all for diversity and it's important to be aware but 3 hours and 15 minutes aware.

You know what I became aware of? The texting feature on my phone. I started off just sending to my friends but then moved on to other teachers several tables away and then the teachers at my table. I am serious when I say teachers make the worst students. I of course sat in the back of the room and talked, texted, played tick-tack-toe, hangman and was in general a nuisance. The only time we as a table shut up was when the speaker moved about the room and he came back to our table. I know that look and I know that move I used it that morning while the kids took the PSAT. I say this is what makes me a great teacher. Why is that you ask, because I know all the signs and all the tricks. Like I told the kids "You can't fool me because I have done it and I did it better."

So here is just a bit of a text conversation I had with a teacher sitting right next to me.

Her: How do we get out of this?
Me: Well we could come up with a phony excuse.
Her: Better yet why don't you stab yourself and I can help you to the hospital.
Me: Umm I don't like that plan.
Her: Well you can stab yourself in a place that won't cause much damage just a flesh wound. We need to see blood.
Me: Ummm still not liking it. How about an aneurysm. It's internal they couldn't tell.
Her: I think they need to see blood.
Me: I am allergic to pain.
Her: I think you are chicken do you want to get out of this or not.
Her: Is the guy standing behind me?*
Me: Yes*
* I made the last 2 lines up. But I thought it made it funnier.

Reorganizing and fun with laundry.

Oh holy jesus. Laundry is such an under taking for me. I live on the 3rd floor, if you count the basement I am on the 4th. The laundry is in the basement. I am on the far east side of the building. The only stairs to the basement are on the far west side. Only two apartments are farther than mine from the laundry facilities. So when I do laundry it is a commitment. I also hate going down to check because if it's not done then I have walked up and down all those stairs for nothing. Which is what I did last night. 8 times. I wasn't counting or anything. and there are 55 steps from the bottom to the top and 107 steps from the top of the stairs to my front door. Again who is counting really. It really isn't that far or that bad but when it's the last thing you want to do in your day it's like asking me to scale K2 to add fabric softener.

I made the mistake last Sunday of wanting to reorganize. I say mistake because this is what ends up happening. Me: "Why can't I find anything, it's a small apartment I should be able to find stuff." So I pull everything out of drawers and shelves to sort and put back in a more logical order. Well the first half worked out well. Everything is now in the middle of my living room and bedroom and kitchen and bathroom. I am easily distracted. This is a common phase when "reorganizing" "Ooooooooooo, I forgot I had *insert random piece of crap here*. I must look at it, read or otherwise waste time. " I do this quite often. The contents of my life get pulled to the center of the room for me to look over and then leave for weeks on end until I have company. At which point I frantically shove everything back into whatever available spot so it's out of the way. I think I have a set of dried markers I have been trying to get rid of for 5 years because of this process.

Now because I have haphazardly thrown all my belongs back into whatever area would hold, I look around and lather, rinse, repeat. This cycle needs to end. Also I swear I got rid of a crap load of stuff when I moved. The question is where does it all keep coming from. Why store anything I am never going to use again. Since moving this last time I have been to the goodwill drop off like 7,000 times. (Hyperbole is the Best thing ever!!!) Yet I still find more things to get rid of. Why do I spend so much time doing this. Why can I not just get rid of it and stop bringing more things into the house. I don't know but when some one figures it out I would greatly appreciate it.

Why I fear for the future

Or why I hate teenagers.

Now I know I felt a sense of entitlement as a teenager and that on occasion I would express that to my peers and maybe in an outburst with my parents but I would have never in my wildest moment ever manifest that in front of a teacher. As anyone who went to high school with me can attest I was a kiss ass, a teachers pet. If I didn't suck up directly to the teacher I pretty much was never bothersome to them. I never received a detention in all of high school or middle school. I was always a good kid in class. Yes I would talk from time to time but I had a healthy fear of my teachers. If not the teachers then the ramification of my parents finding out and my father I had a fear of him angry. I am fairly certain I can make this claim because when I did finally do something punishment worthy in high school I was let off the hook with this said to me. "If it were any other student you would have been suspended but because it's you I will let it go."

Yes I disagreed with teachers and coaches growing up but I never had the back bone to say it out loud. At least not til college where I would talk back whenever I wanted to.

In general I find that teenagers at my school at least feel a sense of entitlement and that entitlement says "I can do and say what I want and I don't care." I think the most frustrating part is that we as a faculty let them. I can't imagine a single teacher in my high school that would have stood for me making the comments I hear everyday.

Example, yesterday in my theory class we got on the topic of band camp and how ticked I was when the seniors crawled all over my car and wouldn't move and put dents in the hood and roof. One of the seniors sat there and said to my face that I deserved it because I wouldn't let them Saran wrap and dump water on me. I deserved to be harassed and have property damage because I didn't want to be harassed in the first place? In all seriousness I wanted to get up out of my chair and punch him in the face. He then went on to say that he didn't feel it was his fault because he didn't climb on my car. I pointed out that he did nothing to stop them and in fact was yelling and encouraging the others to do so. In my mind I find his actions as deplorable as everyone else's. He then sat there and said "Well that may be but I refuse to say I am sorry." When you are so in the wrong how can you make things worse? mmmmmm say just that to a person obviously very upset with you.

It really isn't teenagers and it's not just this generation it's this mentality. This notion that we can treat each other badly and it's ok. This lack of respect not just for an authority figure but for yourself, other people and the activities that you participate. We are far more focused on getting the respect for ourselves before we would even deign to give it to someone else. What ever happen to thinking of others first. Let me through out a cliche for you. Walk a mile in another mans shoes. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Yes corny, yes cliche but seriously grow up people and be less selfish in our thoughts and in our actions. Yes people can be pricks but do we need to be a prick back?

This rant has been brought to you by the fact I need to get away from this job.

Me and printers

I swear I can never have a good moment with a printer. My last one spoke in tongues and would forget where it was and what it was suppose to do. This one is a true corporate product developers wet dream. It has 4 ink cartage's and will not work when one isn't full. even if you don't need that color. Example I have 4 ink wells, Blue, Magenta, Yellow and black. The Blue, Yellow and Magenta were low and the blue had just run out. I was trying to print something that just used the colors Black and white. Did it print? No, it just kept saying I needed more Blue. I didn't have any blue and besides I don't need it just print. So at 11 pm last night when I realized I had not done this I said f*ck it and I went to Meijers because it is the only thing close by still open. Did they have the ink I needed? No, they did not. So I came to work with nothing printed off. Could I email it to myself? Sure except I don't have the program to open it with on my work computer. Could I bring my computer and print it off there? I could except I can't get the computer to recognize the printer so that is a no go. Why oh why could I not have noticed the problem 2 hours earlier when Target was still open and I could have gone there for the ink. I love the fact you can't just have a black and white printer, but you have to get all the colors of the rainbow which of course is only made by the company for that specific printer. God bless America. Aren't we in some kind of financial crisis because of greed? Hmm

What I did with my evening

To answer a question yes 4 months after moving in I still have free cable. God bless the laziness of the American worker. Speaking of incompetency, I watched the VP debates at a bar last night. I must say I got less angry surrounded by people then I probably would have if I had sat at home watching. I must Say Governor Palin did a great job of sticking to the talking points and staying on message. I the times that showed how utterly unprepared for the task were when they would deviate from the talking points. She would always and very awkwardly steer the subject back to McCain is a "maverick". I feel Senator Biden did an adequate job. I never felt he was condescending to the Governor nor was he terribly exciting to listen to or watch. When he went into the minutia and figures for the McCain health care plan I looked at FN and said "Oh, my god this is so boring. All he needs are the charts and he could be Perot." I appreciate detail work but come on here you have beside you some one who can be coached and very engaging as long as we are talking about something she read about two hours before. Joe you really needed to step up the charisma, or get some. Don't get me wrong he had some good moments I really feel when he talked about Pakistan, Chad, and the role of a VP he was very on and engaging which really emphasised her complete lack of knowledge and skill in this area. When she started talking about the role of a VP I just shook my head. She made a comment about the founding fathers, I just wanted Gwen to jump in and say "Name four of the founding fathers." I have a feeling she wouldn't be able to do that. Not that I don't think she knows any of them but because she wouldn't have been prepared for that. Ok actually I don't think she could have named 4 founding fathers.

Here's the thing when it comes to my elected officials I want them smarter than me. If they are in the White House or they could be in spitting distance of getting into the White House through a bizarre chain of events (Gerald Ford) I want them to be Waaaaaaaaaay smarter than me. Do I think Governor Palin is smart. I think she is shrewd, I think she knows how to play the game. Is she dumb?, no. But is she really smart enough to be in the second highest office in the land? No!

Again I am not overly pleased with either candidates but of the two hands down I will pick the Senator. When asked about his weakness of being disciplined she should have said look how disciplined I am I haven't smacked this twit to my left so I must be doing something right.

Ok and can we talk about that hideous green jacket Gwen was wearing?

Thank god for Athena

So a few months ago my TV died. It was sad and awful and I thought to myself. This is a perfect opportunity to ween myself from the idiot box altogether. Yes well like a trapped animal I want to gnaw my foot off and get a new tv. Well with money being tight and the offer from Athena to borrow one of her many TV's I broke down and am joining the rest of the world (well at least the developed world) in front of the boob tube. Yes I know I can watch most of the shows I like on line. But really I am doing this because I have found myself tethered to my computer too much. There is a sort of freedom of putting the TV on and doing house work while it plays in the back ground. The computer demands much more of my time and focus. Even when it's the mindless focus of playing Mahjong online. It will also be nice to put my DVD player back to work. Plus the laptop gets really warm sitting on my stomach watching movies.

So yes I have caved but it's ok. I know that I can put the remote down from time to time and do real things. As much as I hate the news sometimes, I miss watching it. I read it yes, I hear it on NPR yes but Anderson Cooper is so dreamy. Mmmmmmm Anderson Cooper.

Wait where was I. Ah yes TV Several shows still hold my attention and I would like to be able to watch them when they appear and not have conversations like this. "If it's about last night's episode of Hero's I don't want to know I haven't seen it yet." Followed by my fingers in my ears yelling "LALALALALALALALALALALALALAICAN'THEARYOULALALALALALA" It's just a bit childish and the people in the restaurant look at you funny.

So yes I still read books, yes I still have gym membership (no I haven't been going) and yes I can still hold a conversation. The only difference is that conversation is about "Lost".