I change my mind

I do want something for Christmas I would love a KitchenAid Stand mixer in Blue

I also want to say I like Pandora.com. It's a site that you type in a name of a song or artist and it creates a radio station that plays music similar to and including said song/artist. It's nice I have yet been disappointed by it's selections and have found a few things I didn't know about before.

So right now I am taking a break from cleaning and baking (hence the need for a stand mixer my arm is tired). Some friends from out of town will be here tonight and I am excited to see them. I don't get to see or really talk to them much during the year.

On the menu for tonight is Molasses Ginger cookies, Lemon Sables,a Caramel Cake, Mulled wine, Artichoke dip, and chips and whatnot. Two things I am excited about are having a somewhat cleaner house and friends.

So I should get back to baking and cleaning. Don't forget the stand mixer.

I know how he feels sometimes.

What have I been doing with my break thus far?

3 words Lost season three. I know it is still a couple of months off and with the writers strike who knows when it actually might make it back on. I need some catch up and something to help me with my Lost withdraw. That and the Jack withdraw He is so hot isn't he mmmm.

About damned time

My brother kicked my sister-in-law out. Bitch was bad news. Firstborn finally got from her that she had been cheating on him. He said get out and don't think you are getting the kid. A month earlier she had wanted him to leave but now he just told her to leave. On one hand it's not good that it came to this but on the other he needs to get out of that marriage. She was not the greatest mother and not the greatest wife and this just makes things worse so really good riddance.

Yes I am a big dork.

So lately I have been wondering about phrases that are in our vernacular but we really don't know where they came from or what the actual meanings are. Example I was leaving a comment on another blog about possible meanings to the phrase "Shake a stick at". As in so many stupid people at the bar last night you could shake a stick at. In this instance one possible explanation comes from when farmers would count animals in a coral they would use a stick to point and count. Hence so many you would shake a stick at to count.

Another usage is when someone is referring to something as being less. Like it was nothing to shake a stick at. In this case they may be referring to when people carried swords. Another old phrase "Sabre rattling" could be connected. When they would want to make a defiant gesture at an enemy one would shake their sword or rattle it. If someone was not worthy or less of threat to them they wouldn't. Therefore you wouldn't shake a stick, or sword at them.

What ultimately got me on doing this was the phrase "Mind your P's and Q's". We actually use this in the wrong context all the time. I always hear it in the since that you must behave. Your mother would always say mind your p's and q's. It got me to thinking what the fuck are my p's and q's? Well I looked it up and actually it comes from when people would have to set type for a printing press and you would put the letters in backwards and if you go to fast you could put a p in where you meant a q because they are mirror images of each other. So it really has nothing to do with politeness or courtesy but more to do with being accurate and thorough.

I think it is important that we all use this little quips and phrases in their proper contextual setting. So I will never use mind your p's and q's again. Unless I am referring to type setting. lol

So much Sugar

Well today has been a fun filled day of not much. Today is technically a review day, but with all but one of my classes being a performance based class I only have the one final. It is on Friday but I will be safely in Chicago by then. The kids have been bringing in candies and an assortment of baked goods. I love the gesture but I end up giving most of it away. I have also counted $50 in panera gift cards, $30 in Starbucks and $50 to the Olive Garden. Granted I do not go to the Olive Garden much but for free food I may make an exception. I still have 3 more classes left so who knows what I may end up with in the end.



My baking has gone over well it always does. I could put a bag of sugar in the middle of the room and they would love it.

<---------Not my students but you get the idea.

The one problem today and there always has to be one. Special K decided to leave at the beginning of her 3rd period. She gave them all passes to the library and then took off with Student Teacher. I have know idea where they went or for what. All I know is that at the end of 3rd they were not back. I needed to run to the bank during 4th, I don't have a class then, and when I came back at the end of 4th neither Special K nor Student Teacher were back. Her 4th period was completely alone for almost the entirety of the class. Unprofessional, Rude, Unacceptable these are all fine words I would use to describe this "teaching" methodology. She finally showed back up with 5 minutes left in class. I grabbed my stuff for resource and left. I was so livid. I ended up going straight to the VP and letting loose. If this were any other teacher I would be obligated to say something so why not in this instance. Well I have to share an office with her, which makes things uncomfortable, but you know what I don't care. It's her bad and I am not taking the burden of it. So there it is, I turned her in, to my VP and my department chair. Right now I am trying to come up with a tactful and professional way to tell her what a fuck up she is.





Anyway Merry Christmas to my students who are not reading this anyway, at least they had better not be. And I will end with, 28 Hours left. I will explain the significances of that later.

Despite what you may think, I do have a heart.

I say this because at this minute I am baking for my classes. I do this every year at the end of each semester. This year I am making peanut butter brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and lemon sables. This have become an increasingly larger endeavor each year. My class sizes have increased and the number of classes I teach have gone up. I have 40 students to bake for, it would be a lot more if I included the bands which are like 150 I would add to that number so I give them the shaft. Sorry kids.

I like doing this, especially for the Christmas break. It really puts me in the holiday mood. I find the radio station that does nothing but Christmas music and I just spend the day baking. In the off times I do a little knitting. Yes, I said knitting. Some of my friends do and they taught me over Thanksgiving and I have been keeping up on it. I am in the midst of a scarf and being the perfectionist I can be over bizarre things I took the whole thing apart last night and started over. It looked like it had a tumor and I wasn't going to give it as a gift like that. It's a really neat pattern for those who know how to knit; Cast on 20 then knit 2, pearl1, and knit 1. Repeat until desired length.

Alrighty back to the baking.

Don't buy me anything.

Just to clarify, Yesterday I wrote about that just because it was on my mind, not because I am actively trying to date or meet people. I am actually very comfortable being with just me. As long as there is porn flowing freely across the Internet then I am golden.

I was told today that I am a hard person to by gifts for, I guess that is true. Not in the sense that people don't know what to get me it's just that I am not big on getting gifts. I remember being little and thinking that Santa could just bring me anything free of charge, so I was all about the gift getting. But when I got old enough to know that the only fat man handing out gifts was my dad then I kind of felt bad about the wanting and the subsequent disappointment of not getting everything I wanted. I knew my parents didn't have money and that it was hard for them to tell us no. If my dad had his way at Christmas we would get whatever we wanted, but the lack of funds really kept it low. In retrospect we did get a lot for how little money we had. After my dad's funeral and having to sort through all the finances with my mom I realized how much in debt he put himself for us.

So with all that I have always discouraged gifts, or I just never bring it up. If I were to ever get married I wouldn't even register for gifts. Why would I? I have what I need and if there is something I do need I would go get it myself. My behavior would infuriate me. Because on the flip side I love getting gifts for people. I have to say I was disappointed when my niece and nephew both told me they wanted iTunes gift cards. I understand the practicality of that thought but I love buying for them. I may end up doing both. I always go overboard with my nieces and nephews. I would do even more if it were not for the blinding poverty I find myself in.
It's probably for the best I don't have kids yet I really need to get a better paying job first.

Oh, I got plenty o' nuthin'

So we have established I am not good at meeting people in person. Let's now move on to why I am terrible at meeting people online. Now there are two completely different reasons as to why I am bad at both. One fills me with the terror akin to being told I was to have open heart surgery without anesthetic. The other fills me with the dread that I may once again be unwrapping a fish plate. I will let you figure out which is which.

I have never put too much stock into online dating or using it as a medium to meet people. I find it to always be disingenuous. No one can accurately describe them self or do justice to who they really are. When people do it is hard to sift through all of it to get to the core of who they are. So I just don't bother. Pictures are misleading, ages can be doctored, skills and other attractive qualities can be made up. I can go online and say I am an 80 year old grandmother. Doesn't mean it's true.

So when given options I would much rather take a face to face, but again it terrifies me I would rather sit safe at home with miles of phone line between me and the other person but I don't trust those people. OK Captain Conundrum what is it? See why I get frustrated with me too.


So when people want to talk with me and immediately want to meet for coffee or dinner or whatever I tend to just brush them off. Two, I find those people to be desperate and will throw themselves at anything with a pulse and a dick. I just don't roll like that. So the question now becomes, How do you solve a problem like Maria? When I am either paralyzed with fear or completely not trusting?

When you figure it out give me a buzz I would like to know.

More parties, and drag queens

Friday and Saturday night were both fine evenings. The Ex-wife's party was fun and hella far south and the other one hella far north was also good. I really don't have much to say about either except I am a schmo.

I will get into that here in a minute but first let's talk about Last night and two of my friends in drag. I am not talk men wearing dresses because that is what I would inevitably look like if I were to ever attempt such a feat. No I am talk full on Makeup, wigs, boobage, and choreographed moves. I have to say I was quite impressed. Normally Blanche looks like a man in a dress but last night he was a vision of gender confused loveliness. Romeo I have seen made up before and he does it well, so no surprise there. I know they were both very nervous about the whole thing and I will have to say I was a bit nervous for them as well. I mentioned to someone that all they need to do is not embarrass themselves and it would be a win. Think Fred Thompson in his first debate, aim low and you can win anyone over. I must say they poll vaulted over expectations and did themselves proud and had nothing to be nervous about. Kudos to all.

And Happy Birthday to Romeo and Brooklyn's new baby. I saw a picture very cute. The baby not Romeo. :)

So on to why I am a schmo. Upon arriving at Jamisons place I discovered I was there well before Alain, Romeo, and Blanche. I hate getting places by myself and not knowing other people there. Yes I knew the host but he had hostly duties to attend to, like getting wasted. I knew a few people but not well enough to cling to like a barnacle to a ships hull like I normally do. I don't know why I do that, of course that is for a whole other entry. So I am there and gravitate to the one person I feel friendly enough to and just stand on the periphery and interject when I can. When a very handsome man puts his hand out and introduces himself. I, can not do that, but I do react well when others approach me in this manner. Over the next 30 minutes we have a very pleasant if not brief conversation, you know one where you speak for 2 minutes and then are silent for 6 and then jump back into the conversation in the same 2 on 6 off format. It's like having a conversation where someone keeps hitting pause in the middle of a thought.

I chalk it up to the fact I am always nervous when talking to attractive men. When my friends arrived it pretty much ended all conversation. We did continue to make eye contact almost all nice. I am so bad at interpreting such signals and almost always do stupid things so I find it best to ignore them. He was so polite every time we spoke or interacted with one another and when he left he walked across the foyer grabbed my hand in both of his and said it was a pleasure to meet me. I really wasn't sure how to respond. Actually I did, my first thought was to druel on myself and to make incoherent sounds while grinning like an idiot. Thankfully I repressed that urge and just smiled and said it was nice meeting him too. At that point in the evening I was ready to go and as I was getting ready to leave it comes back in and now I am really confused. Especially since I really didn't see him again as I him hauled around and didn't leave until it was becoming painfully clear that I wasn't going to work up the nerve to say anything to him, so I just left.

So that is why I am a schmo. So yet another opportunity slipped through my fingers.

Parties,Parties,Parties

Tis the Season and we have hit full swing. Last weekend was one side of the families Christmas and this weekend there are three festivities going on. None of them are close and convienent to me or each other. The first was last night and it's distance wasn't bad. Tonight the first party is way south of the city about 30-40 minutes the second party is north of the city about 20-30 minutes. Good times.

Last night was an annual trek to my friends J&J's, gay couple with a great house. I must say I am completely jealous of their place. They every year have a white elephant party. I have to say my experiences with white elephants are very bad my moms family does one and when I was 19 I said no more because that year I received a fish plate. Not a plate that you serve fish on but a glass plate that looked like a carp. Of course no one would steal that from you. What made it really bad I could have looked passed the fact that it was a hidious piece of serving ware but it was in it's original box and the plate was still dusty. The box had been torn and repaired in several places with masking tape and the box had a thick layer of dust covering it. Are you kidding me?!? Also in that same year I witnessed a cousin unwrap a box of trash, literally a box of someones trash. Merry Christmas, I hope you like crap. In these situations I always bring very nice gifts and I always steal something nice. I never unwrap anything, especially with this group of people. You never know when you will find a dildo or a remote control for the blind with 1 inch squared buttons. I think this years best was a toy polar bear that poops brown jelly beans. I personally walked away with a set of four Vera Wang lead crystal high ball glasses. Never pick an unopened gift.

Well tonight a party with the Ex-wife and then on to a party where last year we left a ham sandwich in the Christmas tree. I have no idea why we ever get invited to these places again.

Booya

2 hour delay!!!!!

Goin' back to bed.

You're a bitch.

And I'll tell you why.

I am referring to an ex who now resides in Chicago who called today. Here is his message.

"Hey I just read your blog and saw that you had strep and it hurts to talk so I just called to chat."

Let us now examine why we may not be together anymore. Hmm? I wonder? Just kidding I really thought that was funny and something I would have done myself.

How about Strep instead of a snow day? - God

OK so that backfired a bit. I woke up around 3am at first hoping to see drifts up to the second floor of the house. Instead I am met with the inability to swallow without pain and a hacking cough. I take the only meds I have in the house and try to go back to sleep. Around 5:45 am when my alarm goes off I say fuck it and call in. I actually hadn't heard my voice yet that morning, but it was akin to Patty and Selma on a bad day.

I went to the Dr. they said it wasn't actually strep. They did say I was on my way to sinus infection. Gave me some drugs and said if I don't feel better in a few days to come back. So here I am on my couch doped up and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

In other news last night after Big Gay Band practice I went to dinner with A and S two of my favorite lesbians and was an unwitting attendee of Girls Night Out. Which was fine. But that was a lot of Estrogen to be around. 7 lesbians and me, maybe that is why I felt the need for pepperoni.

So Big Gay Band, yea don't miss the drama. On girls night out there was some talk about the band not a lot but enough for me to be glad not to be involved in the goings on. I just show up and play. I think I hit upon why I am over it, last night I thought about it and all that kept coming to me was that this is so high school. The playing is sub par, a lot of back biting, people thinking they are better than they are, a director that yells, and me not practicing. It's all so juvenile, I miss college band. Yes in college we had drama but at least the music was better and the drama was fun.

Praying

There are very few times in my life I may turn to a higher being, but a snow day tomorrow would be something I would turn to the Lord, Allah, Yahweh, or Buddha, whoever will return my call.

So please send snow, sleet, and high winds tonight or preferably early morning say 4amish.

Spanks you're the Breast.

I am not one to complain...

but I am going to.

OK here is the schedule for the school day.W have 8 periods in the day and one flex period that meets before school. There are two classes that meet before school. Wanna guess who teaches one of them... yep that's right me. Wanna guess who is so not a morning person... again that would be me. Yes this is a schedule I inherited with the job. I have been trying to change this and I will continue to do so.

That is not what I am complaining about, though I could for hours and have. No I am here to complain that at the beginning of the year we get a calendar in this calendar we have when we have altered scheduled days. Let me just jump in and say we have 9, yes count them 9 different class schedules. We have the Regular, Mass, Learning community, Afternoon Assembly, Morning Assembly, Early Dismissal, Two Hour delay, Half day were we have all 8 periods and then the Half day where we do the first 4 then the next half day we do the other 4. Ri-Dic-U-Lous, First I would argue that we can not call it regular since I really feel we spend less than half the time in regular schedule.

Again the number of altered schedules are not what I am complaining about. They give us these calendars but they mean Jack and shit because they change those on us. Just this week they have decided to add a mass and an assembly that was not on the calendar to begin the school year. I am frustrated because now I have less time then I figured at the beginning of the week. I would probably be less irritated if they didn't also screw up those schedules, because for the mass we are on our 4th incarnation of this day in less than 5 hours. I am hoping they get it right before tomorrow cause that is when it is suppose to happen.


On a lighter note enjoy and be disturbed because I was. This is in a Filipino prison.

I couldn't resist

I found this on Youtube it's funnier than Blanche getting spam about over 40 Christian Singles.
I can't tell if it is more like Stephen King's or Tim Burton's take on Mary Poppins either way too damned funny.

$1.50 drinks and Lesbian Aunts

Yes dangerous to drink on an empty stomach and then to compound the problem with Fried food and not very good pizza. I swear this pizza, just the left overs mind you, weighed more than two large pizzas from Papa John's. I say this without hyperbole that it was the heaviest pizza I have ever had. It is also still sitting in my stomach. I had a terrible night sleep because of it. I guess it could also be the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed, but that is not the point.

This has been a very interesting weekend.I had a grand family Christmas weekend. My mothers side of the family was having their annual get together. Friday night some of the family met for dinner. Saturday was for the larger family and we do it now in the boy scout cabin which is just big enough for us. You have to understand that I come from an enormous family. My mother is the 2nd of 8 children. If all of us showed up I think there would be 80-90 people of various ages. I really couldn't tell you all of their names I have really lost track. I know my cousins and a few of their kids names but really after that I haven't a clue. I do have one cousin who herself has 7 children. Her brother who rode to the Saturday shin-dig with me and said that the vagina isn't a clown car. He is so right, I don't understand the need for that many children. Use a condom for the love of god.


My cousin I rode up with is also gay and we have a good time hanging out. I am sure the fact I was going was the only reason he went. I really don't have much in common with that side of the family. I really don't see how any of us have anything other than genetics in common, we are all so very different. Gay cousin and I had an interesting conversation about our lesbian aunt and how no one thinks she is a lesbian but she has never dated a man and always has female roommates that come to family functions. Hmmm denial!! She is by far my favorite aunt and the odd thing is she has a new girlfriend but her girlfriend from like 20 years ago still comes to the christmas parties. I like this woman always have and I still refer to her as an aunt but no one has ever really acknowledge that she was my aunts girlfriend. So very strange. Also very strange that she still comes to family functions.


In two weeks I have the other side of the Family Christmas. It's smaller only 60 people for that one. But I do have another gay cousin, who dated the first guy I ever dated, ewwww, and a lesbian cousin. No wonder I am gay. It's in the water.