To the fuctard who stole my bike.

Go to hell!

Dear Life

Where have you gone and why did you not let me in on the joke. At least you could have let me know I have the plague, a "Kick Me" sign on my back, killed someone, completely repulsive... whatever it is that is going on with my "life".

So until you let me in on it don't bother calling I won't answer.

Belligerent Gay Driver, goes biking.

I as I bike from the scenic south end of the monon trail to the fun filled Broad Ripple section I make a few observations.

1. The south end of the Monon Trail kind of sucks. Not just kind of I mean really sucks. It's a barren wasteland of really unattractive people. Well when there are people, that would be the one nice thing the solitude. The lack of courtesy on that end is also nice I don't know how many times I said "Hey f*#@ head, just trying to cross the street here, there's also a flashing yellow light to look out for us." "A-hole" I just love when they speed up when they see you looking like you are going to cross the street. Seriously I can hear you rev your engine even with my iPod playing. And to the chode who honked when he was 300 feet away and I had just crossed the street, up yours. I was also unaware that horses were aloud on the trail. But if they are fine but bring a shovel and get the horse crap off the trail. And if that's your dog??!?!?!?! yeeeshh!! is all I have to say to that.

2. Broad Ripple, much nicer, hey look cute guy running, the traffic on the cross streets is heavier but they will stop for you which is nice. But I am still skiddish from the south side. Of course more people on the trail too and that is nice but do miss my "me time". Oooo cute guy on a bike. Where was I ah yes also the breeze is cut down by more trees and that is nice to, hot guy running, as well as I feel like I am biking up a hill less. And on the up side my ass has gone numb so I can go for a lot longer now.

3. Did I mention the hot guys up on the north end of the trail. Anyway back to biking related observations. I finally hit the point where people are passing me less on the trail I was fine with the people who obviously race passing me but people who are much larger and older passing was getting old. I admit that I may not be a fast biker but come on. So you must understand my joy when I finally passed my first bikers. No they were not elderly, what is elderly anyway 70-80?? Well these bikers where definitely not 80. Though much like when you drive I hate the people who decide to go faster when they are being passed. Same with Bikers I hate them too. When I started around them they started pedalling faster. I am like really??? I had to slow down because a couple of bikers were coming at me in the other lane. Once they passed the people I attempted to pass slowed down. I believe I let slip something to the effect of "Seriously, make up your minds you dicks." So I just sped up before they had a chance and passed them. I just hate people... like that.

So Monon trail good for a nice trip just avoid the south end cause it sucks and there are a lot of nice looking men who continuously made me feel fat. So to those men I say f*&# off, unless you find that hot then... call me. :)

Have never been so bored in my life.

This includes commencements, weddings, SATs, Faculty meetings, Freshman Orientation and Lifetime Fitness. I have gotten the daily job search down to 20 minutes. I then spend about another hour writing new cover letters and sending them off. After that I have nothing to do. Even Facebook is loosing its shine on me. So here I sit bored. I am so bored that I can't even come up with a blog post. Seriously just shoot me.

So funny story

So years ago when I was working a band camp. There was this girl who was hired to work with us. The group of people that had been working there had known each other for year and I have to say was a pretty damned smart group of people. Well anyway this girl who had come from a pretty competitive high school in the area and at age 20 thought she knew it all. Fine whatever we all think that when we are 20. Some don't grow out of it till they are in their 40's some never. She was taking young enthusiasm to a whole new level. I understand wanting to get the most out of ones experiences, especially after high school. But come on you aren't going to get to run rehearse after only a few weeks with an established group. I mean seriously I had been with the band for 3 summers and the other staff I had known for years as did the band director. And if you know anything about me and my friends we can be a tough shell to crack. We have lots of inside jokes and we know how we work together. Now it is not impossible because we had added the other staff in pretty well. Except this young women, Not really through any fault of ours. She was more interested in telling us what we were doing wrong and making up stories about us. The best was at band camp when she told me and another staffer that she was going up to put on some sunscreen and she left the camp. This was on a Wednesday and we were there till Saturday. She slipped a "note" under the directors door packed her car and left. The note said she wasn't going to talk about the staff and then proceeded for 3 pages to trash us. I laughed at it. The kids didn't like her she really didn't know what she was doing and really it wasn't a loss. Then after the camp she called to complain that she didn't get paid for the full week of camp.

She was fun times. Any time you wouldn't let her do something from the get go without knowing how she did it she would pout and be childish and she would openly tell you what you were doing wrong. Even though she really didn't know how to do it right. Anyway she was in general a pain in the ass. And now she has my old job and will have a fun time with Special K. Those two will just hate one another. If Special K thought I was opinionated I at least had the skills to back it up. And this girl will just hate how Kathy runs things and will let her know. If she is still how she was with students then the kids will hate her too and the program will suffer. I feel especially bad for my Orchestra kids.

Oh Karma how you do like to come back and bite people in the ass.

Keeping busy

So school is done and I am freaking bored out of my mind. A few things are good for being unemployed and nothing to actually do. I have fixed my desk top computer. About 3 years ago I got bombarded by viruses on my desk top. It may or may not have had something to do with internet porn but that is not what is important. After that happened I just bought my laptop I have been very pleased with it and would never go back to using a desk top. However I would like to use it for music storage. My goal since getting the LT was to get the other up and running and use it for just that. It has been 3 years and a lofty goal considering I don't know much about computers. I did successfully get everything I wanted off the computer and on to this one. So yesterday I wiped it out and started fresh by reinstalling everything. The thing is the old computer I got back in 2002 so reinstalling puts me back on 2002 stuff requiring lots of updates. Which is what I am doing today. After that I will be ripping as many cds as I can to it. I am thinking I will also be selling off most of those cds. I don't need them I will have all the music I wanted and it will free up precious space in my apartment. Plus having more money wouldn't hurt either.

Speaking of that the job search is not going that well and I am beginning to hit panic mode. I am thinking of getting a part time now to pack rat more money. That is the one good thing of staying at home every day is that I am not really spending any extra money by staying in lol.

I am really at a loss as to what to do with myself. It's been a long time since I have had almost nothing to do. After school let out I had the pride parade to keep me occupied. Which by the by went great I couldn't have been happier. Everything went very smooth and only minor things happened but all in all I am very pleased. It struck me that I never put things like that on my resume. So I have added it I mean really I ran a freakin parade and not a small one either it was pretty substantial. I have marched bands in smaller parades than this one. But anyway. Yes I am bored. I have done dishes everyday I have clean the bathroom twice now. I have started 3 new knitting projects and finished 2 old ones that had just been sitting there. I am now blogging again so that is a sign of insanity.

*sigh*

Ugh I need a job or a sugar daddy.

Playing hookey

I haven't done this in a long time but I looked at what I had to do today and said f*ck it. Today was a half day and then some nonsense of a "field day" and a school wide tricycle race. When I saw the inflatable bouncy castle and all the "toys" they put out on the football field. I just said to myself "They can't afford me but they can throw money away on this crap?" Yea that is when I said screw it I am going home. And thus I am at home not watching a stupid tricycle race. Have a good weekend everyone.

Ok maybe I have a problem...

Yes I am aware that I love my shoes and have a few. Ok I have a lot. I really don't keep count for fear of realizing I have a problem.When I moved into this apartment a little under a year ago I purged my shoes of about 8 pairs. They were mostly pairs I didn't wear or were falling apart. Over this last year I have only purchased I would say 3 pairs of new shoes. Of course this could be a low estimate because really each outing for shoes have just blurred together over the years. After moving to this very small apartment I have become very aware of how much I have. After living in large places with many rooms the prior 4 years, it just collects without really noticing. This last year has been one of purge and simplification. Yesterday one of my oldest and best friends came into town and stayed at my place. I decided that I needed to do some cleaning. In doing so I threw out quite a bit of stuff I just didn't need or have space for. The fact that my place is small it didn't take that long to do the clearing. Through all this I did consolidate my shoes. I pitched 8 pairs. I went back and for fun counted. 28. Yes 28 pairs of shoes Which means at some point I had well over 40 pair. I also would like to get my clothing down to at most 3 loads of laundry. I am not sure this is all possible but It's what I need.

Yes I am a Shoaholic and I am seeking help. No more shoes till I can part with a few more. Yea we'll see how that goes.

To Special K

I have taken the fact that I am now looking for a full time job is somehow an inconvenience to you. And that somehow this is more about you than me. I can look past that but today, yet again you just leave the classroom while you still have students, and that is just plain stupid. Thank you for just kicking me while I am down. Actually the more I think about it I should thank you. You are making it easier for me to just wash my hands of you, walk away and not care. The fact that this school would choose to keep such a lazy, self involved, raging incompetent over me just makes me warm inside. I usually get that feeling before vomiting. All I have to say is good luck with anyone of the following tasks that I have done and you have not. Library inventory, Locker inventory, Instrument checkout and return, Any number of storage issues, keeping the band room clean, making sure someone is around at the end of the day so the kids can get their instruments and practice, knowing every students name, keeping a budget, making a budget, staying ahead of the game, not making excuses for the kids... really I could go on. If it wasn't for the fact that all of this effects students I would get some giddy pleasure out of watching you drown next fall. Though the sad truth is that you will just fall into the old ways of leaving when you want and leaving the band room open so anyone can come in and steal. But of course you won't know that because you won't stay up on the inventory nor will you make the kids check out the instruments. But that's fine too because then you will just buy buy buy whatever and go way over budget again and maybe you will go back to spend band money on personal things. Here is hoping the school doesn't find out because they could fire you for that.

Ah well I know I am better off leaving. I just find it very unfair that that bitch gets whatever she wants and they all think she is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Screw her hopefully she will grow from the experience or get fired.

Open letter from Belligerent Gay Driver

Dear f*%#wad,

I understand that at 7am not many people are leaving the parking lot of my apartment building but there is no need to pull into said parking lot and block cars in. Especially if you are going to take your sweet ass time. Actually it wasn't 7 am it was more like 6:50 and you didn't come back out to move your car until 7:07 but who knows how long you had been there. It also wouldn't have been so bad if the lot had been full but it wasn't or the street 20 feet away had more than the required 1 spot you would have needed for your car.

To all of that I say suck a big donkey dick.

Also when you do finally emerge from whatever the hell you were doing, don't stand around saying you are sorry. If you were sorry you would just move your damned car. Or better yet just don't f@#$ing park your god damned car there. Move it fuctard.

Truly
Belligerent Gay Driver

Conflicted and yet not.

As mine time at this school comes to a close I am conflicted on my feelings about leaving. On the one hand It would be nice to get into a job that I can leave at work. So much of my life these past 5 years has been consumed by this school. I go home and work after working at school. It will be nice to actually leave work and go do something else. No grading, no lesson plans, no score study, no planning for the net concert, rehearsal or whatever the f*ck I come up with. No stressing over Special K's incompetence and her unwillingness to change. Let's face it there are quite a few things I will not miss. Faculty meetings for one, useless assemblies, stupid teachers, a band room that floods and has no climate control. Yea maybe my health will improve. I haven't written a lick of music in 5 years because so much of my time has been devoted to this and when I don't have this I am exhausted.

But...

It's really the kids I will miss. I really do love them for the most part. I enjoy that they do drive me crazy at times. I will miss being the smartest one in the room. lol I will miss seeing them every day and watching them progress and grow and become adults. I will miss seeing their big accomplishments. I know they are not my kids but they may be as close as I get And I will miss them.

downsized... ?funny my pants don't fit any better.

Well it was what I thought. I figured actually that they would just combine a few of my classes and reduce me to part time. But what made it worse was not that they were reducing my classes so much as they were shifting them over to Special K so she could remain full time. You see my classes were just fine. I had enough students in mine to allow me to stay but she didn't she had two of her classes completely empty for the next year. Tell me what is wrong with all of this. I do my job, I get kids into my classes and where does it get me. by eliminating those 3 classes all they did was reduce my work load by 10% I would still be running 2 ensembles and assisting with another. That is the bulk of my job as it is. Of course we can eliminate 10% of the work load and 40% of the pay. Yes normally I would say just get a part time job and weather the storm but really I would be killing myself to do so. The hectic schedule would only be worse by trying to work another job. So at this point I am looking to just find something new at a much higher salary.

We shall see.

So I received a very ominous email from my principal wanting to see me sometime today to discuss my teaching "Schedule" for next year. Honestly the only thing I can think of is that he wants to ship me back to part time and eliminate several of my classes. With that in mind I will have to find something new because I can not afford to go back to that salary.

Yes I would like to find something new but I don't want to have to.

If anyone knows of anything let me know.

Can you say big waste of time?

So yesterdays "Professional Development" was ...interesting. One could also say big fucking waste of time. Indeed my colleague sitting next to me did. Most if not all of our professional development to date have been classes on how to use the grading software, Excel, different ways of assessing students, so on and so forth. Anyway this one was based on a book that each teacher was given back in December. It was a book I had no intention of reading. About 2 months ago we were told that we would be having a PD day over the book and that we should all read it. I love to read but when I am made to read something I have no interest in I usually don't and I didn't. The speaker was a priest who came in and lectured for 2.5 hours on the importance of forgiveness. Here's the thing, this isn't news people, anyone with half a brain knows that the act of forgiving someone is not for them as much as it's for you so that you can deal with whatever is bothering you. In the case of the main character in the book "God", who was portrayed as an old black women, said that if this man didn't seek to forgive the man that brutally killed his young daughter that it would eat at him till it killed him. The priest went on and on about the importance of forgiving, blahty,blahty,blah. Well as S said last night "Really I figured you would enjoy having a priest tell you what to do." Yea... no. So here is my real question how was that either Professional or Development. It wasn't even brought into a relationship of teaching. It was just a lecture on forgiveness. Well here's the thing I don't do forgiveness, I carry a grudge. I'm sorry that is just how I am.

Spotlight 09

So I have made some new friends over the past few months. They, like me enjoy the nerdy things in life as well as enjoy being social but also know the importance of staying home. Anyway J had a ticket to Spotlight which is a fundraiser for Indiana AIDS Fund. Basically arts organizations in Indy get together and do a variety show. It very cool a kind of taste of the Arts kind of thing. Plus the ticket was free and there was an open bar so you know I was there. The evening was great the performances were stellar. What wasn't stellar was the child who sat in front of me playing his Nintendo DS. His parents were sitting right there letting him. I mean my mother and father would have never let me bring it let alone play it. Don't bring your child if you are going to let him do that. It is completely ridiculous that you would ever allow it. Am I wrong on this?

What I want to be when I grow up. ?

I really don't know anymore. I have been giving this a lot of thought lately because of the fact I love my job but hate particular aspects of it. Special K being one of them., the lack of money and the incredible amount of time it eats up. Granted my summers are free and clear but I would much rather have my time spread a bit more evenly. I always feel I am playing catch up and am always letting some aspect of my life slide. I have yet been able to keep a steady workout schedule outside of summer. My personal life has been mia for the last 6 years. I barely have time for my friends let alone new people or sometimes myself. It's very frustrating.

So with all that in mind I have been doing some job searches. Nothing solid and yes I have sent a few resumes out but really I just don't see too much coming my way. The greater question what do I want to do. And the honest answer is I don't know and I don't care. The real criteria would be something different and it pays better. You all know I am not about the money but I can't continue stress about money on a daily basis as I have been for the past 10 years.

So if anyone knows of anything, relocating is completely an option.

Educational Philosophy

As we all know my brothers can be a bit... how shall I put this... dumb as a sack of hammers. As Xena has asked several times, how is it I am part of this family? Well that question remains strong in my mind. This weekend just continued this thought. As we were talking I brought up that some elementary schools have toyed with or have cut their science programs for K-5. My brother thought this outrageous. I agreed and then he said I would cut band before science. Yes he knows I teach music. I said really we shouldn't cut anything. He followed with "But don't you think there are some completely useless classes?" I said "No but there are some completely useless teachers in all subjects." He then went on "Well, what really is a humanities class and what good is it?" Instead of engaging I rolled my eyes and got up. I did say as I was leaving "I could explain but you wouldn't get it." This banter would have ended until he said "I got through a 4 year degree program without a foreign language." I countered with "I got through a 4 year program with one semester of a science, but I don't think that was right." But whatever.

It did get me to thinking that my view on education is completely different then most peoples. I really feel the best teacher I ever had was my High School Physics teacher. The reason he was the best was because I really feel his goal was not to teach me physics but to be responsible, diligent, the ability to think critically and a laundry list of skill that are not physics. Physics was his vehicle to teach me all these other things. That is how I approach my subject or at least I would like to think I do. Because if they learn something about music bonus but I want them to learn how to get this knowledge themselves and how to be better people.

For me it's not all about the subject. It's about a greater message and to give the students the ability to learn on their own as well as the joy of learning. Which is why I feel all subjects have value and that every class can be bad.

But let's just say I still think my brother is an idiot.

Umm... yea

So while sitting in the drive thru of my bank I noticed the truck in front of me was sporting an interesting bumper sticker. It said "Save an American Driver, Shoot a Honda Driving Bitch" For those who don't know I drive a Honda and so did the car in front of the truck so I just leaned out my window and said, "Sir, you should leave you are surrounded, run quickly!" Ok I really didn't mostly because the guy might have actually pulled a gun and shot this Honda Driving Bitch.

Homecoming days

Well I am on Spring break. To balance out last years which I don't remember much of, I am taking it a bit easier. I have decided that like homecoming week I would have theme days. Yesterday was Pajama day. it was the day I could do absolutely nothing and stay in my pj's all day long. Well I did get dressed when Mom called and we went to dinner. But that was like 5pm I had spent the rest of the day on my couch. It was glorious, and did you know there is absolutely nothing on TV during the day? Yea I didn't know that either.

Today has been designated at drinking day. Here in a bit I am going to send a text out to anyone interested that I will be at Olley's drinking until I stop. I will most likely end up at the Metro for Kareoke. So anyone wanting to come and encourage this and by encourage I mean buy me a drink, by all means stop by. Because a drunk Maestro is a fun Maestro.

Tomorrow is Eat Whatever I Want day. I feel this is a good follow up to the Drinking day and Thursday is Get Cultured day. The IMA is free on Thursdays so I think I will pop over there and see what's on the walls.

Now I am open for suggestions on what Friday will be. I have made no plans for that day. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.

Not MySpace

Well I went ahead and deleted my account on MySpace not because I am getting a facebook account. I am not really hip enough to really dedicate any amount of time to either one. Ah well it was ... interesting while it lasted. It brought up such questions like, I didn't really like this person when I knew them in high school you know 15 years ago why would I accept their friend request now? So now I don't have to worry about such things and really I put no effort and got nothing in return so I just took it down.

My Nerdy Protegees

I swear I blink and a week has gone by. These last two weeks have just flown by. I am not really sure what I did but I will take it. Maybe it's because daylight savings time has really been kicking my ass. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination but it's worse when you get up at 5:30 to have to get up at what was 4:30. Let's just say I haven't been making it to work in a timely fashion this last week. I am still there before the bell rings but man I am draggin' ass like no other. The up side is that my class couldn't be better. I had a great after school rehearsal Wednesday and yesterday.

The other thing is I brought a video of lectures Leonard Bernstein did at Harvard in '73. I was only going to show the first half of the first DVD in the 6 disc series. But my Independent Studies kids loved it. I mean really loved it. Usually kids will half watch and try to do homework, fidget, sleep, talk or try to text but these guys just sat and watched. I thought I was nerdy but they just loved it and asked if they could watch more. I said sure. Because really this takes care of them for the next 2 weeks. I will have to come up with something for them to do that relates to it but I don't think that will be a problem. I am actually very glad they liked it. I wanted to show it to them but figured they would be bored and not get anything from it. I really like this group of guys they are very into talking about music and I can totally get into that. I have 4 seniors and 1 Junior in the class and 3 of the seniors are going to major in music and the Junior is a really good songwriter and wants to pursue that. Independent Studies use to be a pain because most of the time kids would sign up so they didn't have to do anything, so you would have to struggle to get them working but these guys are great and work all the time.

So I guess I could start the count down but I am afraid that when I do the days are going to start dragging. But I am now 2 weeks out from Spring Break. There I said it let the weekends fly and the class periods slip into epic lengths. I will just say 2 weeks and not do a day and hour count. That will come later when I become more desperate for a break.

Corporate fingerprints

I was listening to NPR today and they were talking about how YouTube pulled out of a deal that would allow music videos from the UK on the site. They pulled out because the British representatives were asking a "ridiculous"(YouTube's word not mine) amount for the rights. I thought okay well maybe they are but I think professionals should be paid for their work. That was until they stated it was for professionals and for amateurs. Wait these people wanted money for people who themselves would not be paid. Does anyone else see a problem with this? So here is what I read from all this is that if I were to make a music video in the UK and posted it on YouTube someone would be collecting money for every view, however that person wouldn't be me. Yes I believe that those who do the work should be paid for it but come on. I really dislike how we have to make a buck off everything. Libraries are great but some smart person decided that if we put a coffee shop in our huge book store and be okay with people reading our books without paying because they will eventually and we can still make money even though I could go to a library and really not pay anything. The Internet is this wonderful place where people could share information without charge but now everyone is trying to find away to charge for the net. But until they do find a way to charge for every possible thing I will continue to enjoy the free things like this blog.

*Please deposit $2.99 for the next blog entry*

The next step.

I think I have discovered what I want to do with my life. I feel I should become a life coach. I have to wonder though, how does one become a life coach? I mean what degree does one get that qualifies you to be a life coach. I can understand who would be drawn to it. My niece will make an excellent life coach one day. At age 3 she is very good at pointing out when you do something wrong and will be quick with the "NO, NO, NO That is not how you play. Do it this way!" Telling people how to run their lives and pointing out what they do wrong, sign me up. Basically I am doing it now I just don't get paid as well as I would suspect a Life Coach would get paid. Do they seek out a life coach or does that pushy, bossy girl we all knew from elementary school just bully you into paying for the "advice" they are handing out. I mean I could do that how hard is it. I would like to know up front if I can smack them. Because if I can I may do some pro bono work on the side. Hmm... imagine if you will me, a life coach. I really like this plan.

Why there is a banking crisis.

This is an actual email I sent to my bank. Note how I refrained from calling them fuctards. Good for me.


My name is Disgruntled Customer I have a checking account with you and you have deactivated my debit card. Even though I went in a week ago to a branch to return the card that was mistakenly sent to my previous address and forwarded to my current address And it wasn't even mine. I am sure the woman for whom that card belongs would actually like it. Much like myself, I would like my new card. I would also like for you to stop defaulting to previous addresses when in your system you have current addresses for me (I had the very nice woman at the branch check for me). While at the branch I also let her know that I have yet to receive my new card. I also expressed a desire for the only card I have not to be deactivated. She said it would be taken care of. It worked just fine this week until today when I went to use it and very embarrassingly so was declined. I would like to point out that this is not the first time such things have occurred but this has become an ongoing problem when it comes to my changing addresses, getting new cards, changing pin numbers and you 6 years ago closing out a savings account without notification and refusing to acknowledge that you did so. I had a savings account with this bank since before Stupid Financial bought it and that savings account never needed a minimum and when Idiot Bank took over they let me keep it like that until you didn't like that, deleted it and then told me I never had such a thing.


Seriously get me a new card or reactivate the old one. This problem is getting old and quite frankly I am over it.

Please fix it soon I would like to buy groceries and since your branches are never open when I am not at work I will have to dig for change in my couch.

Thank you

Maestro

Also it took me 20 minutes to find a way to email you. This really shouldn't be buried like this unless you really don't want people contacting you. Just a thought.

No longer sick...

Well not Physically...


Right now I am just watching The Gilmore Girls. I really loved this show. I miss that it is not on any more.

So this weekend was interesting. I finally got to see little Parker. She is adorable, even when she was a bit fussy. She has cute red hair and chubby little cheeks. It all makes me want to have one. Alas... I will just barrow my friends babies.

Saturday I spent the evening at Olly's not drinking, because I was on antibiotics and I am suppose to. At least that is what the Dr. said. I tend to believe trained professionals, I am weird like that.

School has been fine nothing exciting or stupid. Well that is not true. Today Special K was there after her classes were done which usually means there is a meeting after school. As I was sitting there working and the end of the school day was approaching and I look up and say "Is there a meeting after school that I forgot?" Special K replied "No, why?" "Well you are here." "No, I am just doing what my contract says and work." Not really sure what to say to that except, about damned time. Though I didn't say that. Seriously this is what I have to sorta work with here.

Fun times.

Still Sick

I really didn't want to call in today but this was an easy day to do it. Special K and I were taking 20 kids to the symphony. It was a great concert Copland, Bernstein, and Gershwin. How great would that have been I was really looking forward to it. But I didn't sleep much last night the hacking and fever kept me up most of it. I am heading out to the Dr. I am sure they are going to tell me I am dying or some nonsense. So no lesson plans just called in and went back to "bed" for a few hours.

I think when I get back I will just make some soup.

Under the covers shivering

For the past 4 or so days I have been fighting a cold. I have been taking preemptive meds to stave it off. I sat at dinner last night with FN, Athena and Blanche and I was trying not to fall asleep because I was so exhausted. I assumed it was from the lack of sleep I had not been getting. But last night I went to bed right when I got home about 8:30ish and when my alarm went off I had a headache and I was shivering uncontrollably. Good times. Ok so I was tired for other reasons then lack of sleep. I swear my throat has swollen shut practically and every part of my body hurts, and when I cough it sounds like what I imagine Blanche and Romeo will sound like in a few years.
The worst part is that my alarm is set to the radio and I have Bob & Tom waking me up in the morning. I use that station because I will never want to just lie there and listen to them. I really can't stand them, and here is what makes it the worst I am on the couch and they are playing on my radio in the bedroom and I have no energy to get up and turn them off. I called in and sent my hastily thrown together lesson plans and now I am here typing this up. I started typing this at 6 am and it is now 6:37 am. God I am typing slow.

Very bad

And now a story of shopping for food.

Once upon a time, circa 5 days ago, I was walking into the local grocers. A Ma and pop store, that has a hundred location in the city and surrounding area. A quaint store run by pleasant people who would rather break your leg than deal with your concerns about the freshness of the orange peppers. Upon entering said store I find myself in the fresh produce area. I love peppers and when I see them on sale I think I should by them except when they are on sale and a bit soft to the touch. I turn to find a young man refilling the banana cart and I ask"How fresh are these peppers?" "What do you mean?" "Well how long have they been sitting here?" "I don't know?"


Hmm he was pleasant, I forgo the peppers in search of fresher things. When I hear yammering from around the corner. "Key lime, is that the stuff with the key lime? I am sure it is the key lime. You wanted the key lime? because I am sure this is the stuff with the key lime. Or maybe this has the key lime, it's the key lime you are looking for right?" I didn't actually count how many times this short older lady with the twice weekly washed and set bullet proof helmet hair said the words Key Lime. But it did feel like a lot. Though on the upside that was good customer service, or at least I think it was someone who worked there.

I round the corner and down to the bread aisle. Now I have been down this aisle several times and this was the first time I had noticed the "light" wheat bread. Since I have started counting calories I have noticed that the wheat bread I had been buying had 60 calories per slice, which really wasn't that bad. "Keylimekeylimekeylimekeylime"

Sorry blacked out for a moment. So the "light" wheat bread advertised 1/3 the calories. I was like hot damn so I pick it up and turn it over to notice "Keylimekeylime..." it actually contained 70 calories. Now I am not good with math problems but I am pretty sure the regular wheat bread kicks the ass of the "light" wheat bread. I could be wrong on this. So I look at the regular again to make sure I was seeing things and that is when I noticed it looking at me as if to say "You think I am fat. Everyone does but really I am just wearing an ill fitting bread bag." "Everyone thinks the light bread is so thin but really he is just wear vertical stripes."
I reply "I don't think you are fat indeed I see through the smoke screen of that false idol "light" wheat bread and choose you." We are both happy "Keylimekeylimekeylime."

I move on with my shopping till I see an old friend at the end of an aisle. "Pringles can!! how are you?" I am well" He sighs. "Whats the matter?" I ask. "I feel abandoned by you." "Well, Pringles can I hate to say it you were very bad for me I had to start seeing other foods, ones that were not so bad for me." "I know I just didn't think it would be forever. I know I was bad but it was only because I was with the bag of Doritos and the french onion dip and those other salty treats." That is true you all made a formidable front in my abdominal region." "Maybe if you just bought me it wouldn't be so bad. I can be friends with the fruits and vegetables. and all that other healthy crap in your cart. Seriously is that broccoli?" "Well maybe this one time as a treat." "That's it buy me! Yea!!!"

I put the can in my cart and move on. "Yogurt? Why the hell are you buying that?" "I like yogurt and its not that bad." "Whatever,...loser." I am sorry I didn't quite catch what you just said." "Nothing, hey is that the chip aisle? We could just go that way for a bit. Or there is the cookie dough."
"Look pringles can I said I would get you but not the others I have to be good." "Yea like that is going to happen." "What did you say?" " I said your hair looks nice." "Thanks I just got it cut."

So down the cereal and packaged food aisle we went. Pringles can and I reminisced. So we were in the frozen food and I found that Pringles can just wanted to go and talk with the ice cream. "Come on you know you want it fatty." "I'm sorry did you just call me "fatty"?" "Look we both know, you are not going to stick with this and you will be back to buying me and all my friends so why not just let it all go and eat what you want now." I open the freezer door and close it again leaving the pringles can behind the almost sound proof glass. I felt so good about my decision that I punch the keylime lady on my way out. Ok I didn't punch her but I would have if she had been around and I knew I would get away with it.

The end.

I wonder if the can is still in the freezer?

Funny story

So yesterday was State Solo and Ensemble and I had several students participate. For the most part they did well.

The funny story comes, so to speak, as I was leaving. I stopped in the men's room before heading out. I step up to the urinal and hear some rustling I don't think anything about it because I figure it's just someone in the stall. As I turn to leave I see the stall and the four feet in it. yep the stall had two people and that is probably why they got very quiet when I came in. As I was washing my hands and leaving all I could think was "good for you".

Oh What a week

So I must be a dick. I have, over the last week given out 9 detentions. Most of these have been given to students who mouth off to me. Example, Today I asked a student who was doing his homework for another class, in my class to bring the book up to me. He didn't and I asked again and he said he did see why he had to? I said because I said to. Then he brought it up and threw it on the floor in front of me. After class I called him down to let him know he had a detention not for doing homework in my class but for being rude and throwing a book. Then he really started mouthing off. He asked "Why do you ask for mine when you don't do shit about others." Ok seriously what is his problem. So I say fine lets make that a total of 3 detentions which on a Wednesday means Saturday school. These children need to learn to just shut the fuck up. Honestly I probably would have just given him a warning and given the book back if he had just done what I asked to start. Why do these kids feel like they need to challenge me. Of course it doesn't help when Special K just let's everything go because she doesn't want to deal with any discipline issues. I seriously don't have this problem with any other class, just band.

I love this job. Is it June yet?

Public Service Announcement

Good afternoon gentle readers.

It's that time of year where I feel it is my duty to do a little public out reach. It's like community service, except it's not court mandated. For those who are not aware every year there is a holiday that many people celebrate. Some even look forward to it. I am, of course referring to Singles Awareness Day. It comes but once a year and unlike other holidays you don't have to think of anyone else. You don't even have to make declarations of what you may be thankful for because chances are you are not thankful for much of anything. S.A.D. is a great day to just give the one digit salute to all those "happy" couples out there. Who are not happy because if they were some people who are attracted to the wedding band would never have dates, and they too would only come once a year.

But I digress, this year I would like to focus on some of the grand few of you who have graced my boudoir (I so can't believe I spelled that right on the first try) and brought me to this fine holiday.

First and foremost I would like to give a shout out to all the fuctards who couldn't even make the commitment of showing up for the one and only date that we scheduled. I hate to say that these are the extras in my love life, such as it is, and they are a cast of thousands. Though I barely knew you, I hate you.

Moving on. To those I truly hit it off with, you are cute, funny, smart and we have lots in common and plenty to talk about. I love those things about you, and your current boyfriend. Need I say more?

Next to those of you who are smart, funny, talented and live in a different time zone.

Well that just wiped out 97.5% of my past. Moving on to those who really matter.


...


Now that I have hit those who matter let's go to everyone else. To the Jackass who laughed in my face when I said "We have been hanging out a lot this last month and I have been having a great time. I would like to try this as more than friends." Your response "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... No" Then two weeks later when you were jealous of a friend of mine and you said you wanted to date and I said no. Who's laughing now jackass, who's laughing now? Make no mistake I am laughing so hard I am crying. Those are tears of joy and mirth my friend, not because my meds ran out last night.

To the "Happy f*#$ing birthday to me guy". We had a good month together. When on our first "date" you asked me to stay the night. Then a month later, the night before my birthday I see you out at a bar with a guy. You avoid me all night until I text and ask who was with you. You respond "It's my bf" I respond with 5 jack and cokes and "That is great, delete my number." I particularly enjoy the emails and phone calls saying that you thought we were just friends and that those weren't dates. I would still like to state for the record I do not give blow jobs to my friends especially if I had a bf. , anyone else???? That is what I thought.

To the one who lives and Chicago now and ... actually we are still very good friends and we get along great. I still think he is a good guy and miss that he doesn't live closer. So kudos to him for being a bright spot.

Moving on this is a bitter rant I can't spend time on niceties. To those under 25 and over 52 that I seem to attract I say "Your nice and all but not really what I am looking for, but thanks."

To the crazy stalker that kept IMing me online with this fun conversational style. "I hate you never contact me again." "So are you just ignoring me now?" "I said don't talk to me again." "That is so childish of you to ignore me like this, I just want to talk." Fine be a bitch I hate you just don't IM me again" "Fine I guess you don't want to talk." That of course was just one person talking I was not sending replies I was to busy reading the instructions on how to permanently block someone on that site.

And this boys and girls is why I am happy to be celebrating S.A.D. and not that other holiday that occurs around the same time.

Happy S.A.D. everyone.

Positive notes

I know sometimes I can complain about my students and today I could really go off on a long rant but instead I would like to say a big thank you to those students who show up on time. Those who always have their music, are quiet in class and do their homework and are in general great students. Thank you thank you thank you.

On another good thing. 6 weeks and I am down 10 lbs. Yea!!!!!

Is is just me?

Now I am not one to have problems with simple instructions. I have no problems with milk cartons or cereal boxes. I have even master CD cases with that damned strip of tape that never comes off in one piece. Can openers were a bit touch and go for a while but after the age of 8 I seem to not have problems. I even somehow got past childproof caps at the ripe old age of 4.

Yet...

Yet, I seem to be baffled by the instruction on the side of many packaged dinners that says "push with thumb and lift". Every time I think I can do this. I put my thumb on the perforated edge, push and crush the box. Did I manage to open the box? No. I just smash the corner of the box. Most of the time I just rip the top off, I find this to be pretty effective. I have just always wondered why give that option? I mean, for me, it has never worked. The way I see it peeling back the lid and dumping the contents where ever you may need it seems to work just fine. Anyone else have this problem? Am I alone on this one?

Anyone...?

Yea that's what I thought.

The things from college I miss.

Today I was looking over the list of music for All-State band. The one that jumped out at me was "Fantasies on a Theme by Haydn" by Norman Dello Joio. I heart this piece in a big way, it was part of the best year I ever had musically at my University. Not to say the other years were bad but looking back we played so much great music in that one year. To look at the concert listing it was like the list of Band classics.

My other years were great but for several different reasons. It was my freshman year and I couldn't think of a better time to just get sucked into really great music.

The sad thing is that I haven't had that level of emersion since then. I teach music yes but I am not surrounding myself with what I would call the best the music world has to offer. I recently have just been craving the ability to sit in the middle of music. I miss being in an ensemble. Listening is one thing but to be there in the middle of it all, I can't think of anything better. When you hit that moment when all the parts come together in perfect intonation and it's a great chord to begin with... It's the closest thing I have ever come to a religious experience. If there is a god this is what that god wants us all to experience. A moment of complete contentment and a rush of excitment, that burning in your chest as you are hit by a wave of sound so wonderful you want to cry, laugh and shiver all at once. If ever I could get back to those moments.... It may also be that part of my life is over. But it is something that if I can make happen I will.

Ah good music.

Sunday afternoon

I get a text from FN saying he was at Metro with some friends if I was bored to stop by. At this point I have done one thing that day moved from my bed to my couch. So I hop in the shower and walk on down. Mind you I have yet to eat today. I get there an I have a rum and coke, then a rum and coke, then a rum and coke, then a rum and coke... you get the point. I decide before this gets worse I need to leave. I really need to go to the store and get some groceries since I have been super bad about my diet this last week.

As I am walking back to my apartment I think I could get in my car and drive the two blocks to the store or I could just walk it. I walked it because really the temperature has climbed considerably since the beginning of the week. So really why shouldn't I walk. The real point of this is that I noticed while checking out that I am a little tipsy and everything seems a little swayie. I know why I am like this my question is why are the people working at the grocery like that. I swear all the employees where just stumbling around like they were drunk. Not really paying attention to anything they are doing. Which would explain why my loaf of bread is only two inches wide in the middle. I just shake my head at the people and move on.

Almost there

The weekend that is. I have been so tired this last week. I feel like an old man. Reason for that are the fatigue and the arthritis. Yes I have arthritis, I have had it since I was 10. It flared up when I was young so bad that I couldn't walk for 3 days. I remember it very clearly because it was so weird. It crept up on me during the day and by lunch I couldn't walk and the teacher had to carry me to the bathroom. To make it worse she was a nun. The same one that damned our class to hell. Anyway I have lived with arthritis mostly in the hips and when it gets really cold it gets worse but this week my hands have really started hurting more and more. I am sure there are several factors one of which I have started practicing the piano more. I have also been knitting and the general cold of the winter is just making every joint in my body ache. I will get over it all a few pain killers and I will be well again.

Easily distractible

I am easily distracted and this is a fact that many people are aware. None more keenly then my students. I know this and work very hard to avoid. They know that if they don't want to go over homework that they can get me on a topic that has nothing to do with class and I could go for days. Some days I go with it because I too do not what to talk about what is at hand. Sometimes the conversations are relateable to the class I am teaching but many times it is not.

Today was one of those days. I sit down for music theory and start a discussion about talk radio. It saddens me when speaking on this subject. Why? Well it gets me to thinking of the stupidity of the social collective in this country and how easily we buy into things. It's also disheartening to think that we are also so inflexible to accept an alternate view point. I am just as guilty as anyone else and I know this. However many people are not. For me Talk radio is guilty of more than one treason against it's listeners. Let me preface all this with one thing, when I speak of talk radio I don't just mean right leaning I also lump lefties in there too.

First they very rarely hold rational debates. A rational debates allows all sides to be heard whether they are right or wrong whether we agree with the speaker or not. We can challenge a point and by challenge I don't mean petty name calling and "I know you are but what am I" is not what I would call an intellectual debating style. When you can not have a good question to follow their point or fact to prop up you side of things you just shut the hell up and concede the point. Just because you "feel" a certain way does not me that it is right. I "feel" Capri's are stupid and of the devil, that doesn't mean they are.

Second, when you have a producer that only allows calls through of people who agree with you or are so stupid and crazy they couldn't argue there way out of a paper bag that is not being honest with your public. This is my "pick on someone your own size" argument. It's not fair for me to challenge a student who has been playing the sax for one year to a contest of playing abilities. I don't think it is fair that many of these host never actually have a fair fight. How do I know? Because I do listen to these guys, I like to know what bile and stupidity is being shot into the airwaves. I cringe most of the time and I want to yell at the callers because many times they can't string two thoughts together and that is the opposition? Sad days.

Third, why are these people allowed to say what they put forth as news. You are opinion, just because at the top of the hour you read a story from the AP or the weather report that you are all news all the time. This is false and purposely misleading. This is where the collective stupidity of the public comes into play. People believe this to be true. We allow these people to lead us down a path of opinion and call it news. If it were news it wouldn't be one person yelling for two hours they can't possibly do enough research to fill two hours everyday by themselves. It's just not possible. So again if this were a court of law their arguments would be through out because it is pure speculation and rumor. This is also my problem with "news reporters" these days who don't get more than a source or even fact check.

The fourth thing that just pisses me of is that we allow it to happen. We let these people get away with it. I am not news here I am an opinion. This is all about my observations. This is why I have a blog that no one should read or take seriously and not a column in the Washington Post. I don't propose that I am. But some people in large forums say they are, imply they are and let people believe they are. I would be appalled if someone thought what I was writing was something well researched and thought out. People there is no thought here just a crazed teacher that didn't get enough sleep last night and his students aren't doing their homework so he is going on crazy tangents and tirades.

In conclusion Capri's are dumb they aren't shorts they aren't pants they are just lame.

Thank you

I so need my own office.

I have 1 hour and 36 minutes a day that there are no children present so I can grade, attendance, copy, plan, respond to work email, pick up the room, clear to do items from my desk, or blog. I like these 96 minutes at least 48 of them are Special K free. Which means most of my work gets done then. What I don't get done I do after school or at home. I don't like that. Right now I am in the middle of the time I would have with just me in the office, and Special K is here. And talking out load to no one. Except to bug me, which is always fun. She also likes to ask me questions that I have to stop what I am doing to look up the email that has the info that she wanted. The real funny part is that she has the same email. Why I needed to drop what I am doing to look that up for her is beyond me. This is usually when I leave the room to do other things. But then she will yell from the office for me to get something out of her desk. Then I just leave the building altogether. I find this annoying and counter productive to my work schedule. And I am so frustrated I needed to vent ie. writing out this blog posting which also eats in to my productivity.

Moral of this story everything is Special K's fault. World Hunger: Special K Fighting in the Middle East: Special K Childhood Obesity: Special K The Fact my next door neighbor is really loud in the morning: Special K.

This has been another segment of how Special K is sucking my will to live.

What is going on?

Yea so last night thought pretty mild. I hadn't had lunch that day and my whole eating for the day had been a granola bar I had at 7am. So 4 jack and cokes got the better of me. I was fine until I got home and the rush of drunk hit me and I was, to say the least, a bit giggly. That is when I decided to blog and make Chicken Tikka Marsala. This might be why at 3 am I awoke to heartburn and a headache.

To make matters worse we are quickly approaching solo and ensemble time. Though not always bad, it's also not always good. For instance the children in the band room right now "playing" through their solo's. One is a junior in high school "playing"* a song I played in 6th grade. Judges are much less forgiving when you stand under 5 feet tall, but not when you could grow a full beard. To say it is awful is a mild understatement. Special K is working with him right now and I just cringe on every "note". I also worked with a group that I wasn't sure were playing the wrong note or was just that out of tune with themselves. Tough call sometimes.

Well all of this is bringing back the heartburn and the headache with a vengeance. God I love teaching... when can I start looking for a new job?

* by playing, I mean butchering.

Ok...

So I am working on the parade for the big gay parade and tonight I met with the president of pride and one of the chairs for the pride festival. We met at a bar. So to make a long story short, I am drunk. 5 jack and cokes later and it's a school night. So much for the diet. The upside to all of this is that I will sleep well tonight. However the morning may be rough.Yeah...

So over it.

Winter can go home. I have never been a fan of cold weather to start but this snow needs to go. It's like that guest you didn't invite, or the one who leaves a half eaten ham sandwich in your Christmas tree, this snow has over stayed it's welcome. The city really hasn't recovered from last week let alone ready to start a clearing of the new snow. Chances of me getting another snow day is slim and having to sludge through the traffic in the morning is not a fun thought. I so need to be living somewhere it is either sunny and so very rarely snows or I don't have to drive.

I please summer come soon.

Creatively cooking with constraints.

So the diet has left me missing large meals. I am not starving by any means but I do get that "oh so very full" feeling and maybe that is a good thing. Many times I go past the osvf feeling and go straight to the "oh so very uncomfortable" feeling. So I have been experimenting with low cal ingredients to make a larger and satisfying meal. By experiment I mean I look around my kitchen say I like this, this and this. Now will they taste fine together. I tend to stick with variations on a theme. I like recipes yet I like to do my own thing. Today I am trying my hand at a baked pasta dish. I added some chicken and orange peppers and it turned out pretty good. It's pretty simple.

Ingredients:
1 small chicken breast
1/2 cup of pasta (whatever you want I like the spiral kind)
1/2 cup sauce (I improv mine with canned tomato's but you can use what you want)
1/4 cup grated cheese (I like cheddar)
1/4 an orange pepper
Spices (Your choice I used Sage, Basil, Ground Mustard, Majoram Leaves, Black pepper and oregano)

Bake the chicken breast, sprinkle sage, basil, ground mustard and marjoram on the chicken. It doesn't have to be fully done it will finish baking in the dish. When the chicken is well on it's way to being done take it out and dice it up into small piece and put into a small baking dish.

Boil the pasta till it just starts boiling it will finish cooking in the dish. Drain the pasta and add to the chicken. Dice the orange pepper and add it to the baking dish. Add about 2 spoon fulls of sauce over the chicken, pasta and peppers sprinkle a small amount of the cheese with that then add black pepper and oregano. Mix it all together in the dish then add the rest of the sauce over the top of everything a little more black pepper and oregano as well as the rest of your cheese.

Put in the oven at 350 for about 10-15 minutes. It serves about two and is roughly 300 calories a serving (or 600 if you eat the whole thing) and very yummy.

I steam up about a hand full of veggies to go with and it makes for a good meal and pretty low cal and easy. I am sure every time I do this I will do it differently depending what is in my fridge. :)

I look at it this way it was easy and quick. Two things I like in my cooking. I like to get right to the eating.

Screw Flanders or Bon Appetit

Snow days

Though I love the snow days I would like to put in a request that they only occur on Mondays or Fridays. The reason being? It really throws my week off. When I get up the morning after a snow day I am confused because I feel like there should be another day of sleeping in. I do not function well in the mornings so throwing a curve ball like that really can mess with my head. The other reason is that all day today I kept thinking it was the beginning of the week because I had had a day off so recently. So yes nice to have but really messes with my head.

Not that it would take that much to do.

Some good news and some bad news.

Bad news: 5:45 am Every school in the area was either closed today or on a two hour delay. As I was getting up this morning I was hearing about slide off, car accidents and road closers all over the city. So the question arises why the hell did we come to school at the regular time. This seems idiotic to me. Not that I want to make up the time later on but I think it would be in the best interest of our students and parents to allow more time to get to school safely. But what do I know.

Good News: 6:00am I am at 220 which is 8 lbs less than where I was 4 weeks ago. I even splurged last night and bought some ice cream.

Bad News: 6:45am The roads are just awful. Upon leaving every stop light I have almost no traction. People are driving like idiots and I can't see lines on the roads. So I figure if I don't drive head on into traffic it shouldn't be a problem.

Good News: 7:00am The roads are terrible and the people are stupid but hey there are no school buses on the road. BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS HAVING SCHOOL!

Bad News: 7:20am Waiting in the line to get up the hill to get to school. Anyone else notice that I left at 6:45am and it usually takes 15 minutes for me to get to work.

Good News: 7:30am Still waiting line and I am not at school. So a little bit of an up shot.

Bad News: 7:45am I made it to school it started 10 minutes ago and the kids are bugging me.

The importance of zero

Zero would be the number of trucks I saw on the road tonight. I have picked up an interesting habit from my father. You see my father use to in bad weather go driving in it by himself to see how bad the roads really were. So tonight I cleared the foot of snow off my car and got out of my parking lot to take a ride around the city. Actually I just started up toward work to see how it was. Seriously I have to say I am pretty amazed at how awful the streets still are. Admittedly I haven't been watching the weather all day nor have I been out but I don't remember seeing snow falling after 11am today. so why in that 8 hours are main thoroughfares of the city still atrocious? I am not aware that we will be getting any more snow over night. I was out for over an hour and I was up and down main arteries of the city and if they don't get crackin' on the streets soon tomorrows commute is going to be craptastic.

Praise Jebus

So here I am 5:30am and I don't have school today a true snow day with actual snow. The last one we had was because it was "too cold". Whatever we could have totally gone but I ain't knockin' a free day. I am especially not turning down a free day that was also a professional development day and a day that had a basketball game that night. Of all the days to cancel this might have been one of the best. The bad thing is, I was really in the right head space to deal with a day like today. Many times I just drag my feet and dread these types of meetings and the complete take over of my life with basketball games. But today, actually all week I had been fine with it.

I think a lot of this more agreeable demeanor has to do with the change in my eating. I have had more energy lately. One would think that eating less would leave me with less energy. Actually I think it has everything to do with I feel better about myself and therefore I am in a much better head space.In any case I am going to run with it while it lasts. I mean I have not had a dish in the sink for the last week because I come home and do dishes every night and when you don't have a dishwasher that is kind of impressive.

So now the question is what do I do with my day off. I think I will try going back to bed but I think that will be futile. Oh well I hope you all have a good day and Athena I keep watching and hoping you get a snow day as well.

6 in 4

So this diet is actually starting to show dividends. I weighed myself this morning and discovered that I am down a whopping 6lbs it hasn't been yet 4 weeks and last week was a bust because of being in DC So I feel I am making real progress. I don't seem to mind the less food aspect of it. I know that a lot of my eating is emotional and also because I have let my body and mind feel hungry all the time even when I don't need to eat. It's a tough transition but I feel like I am making real progress. If I can keep up this progress I could be at my goal weight by the end of the summer. Of course I have tried this before and it hasn't worked out the best. Any encouragement would be great. So far so good.

Yeah whatever.

All I have to say about men in the greater Indianapolis Area is that they need to pull their collected heads from their asses. I am so over stupid people and I am finding that most gay men in this city are complete fuctards. The minuscule number of non stupid men is small if nonexistent.

Nothing in particular brought about this revelation I am just sighing and remember some of the craptastic moments in my dating history. I have become so use to being on my own I have started wondering if I even want t change that. But that is for a whole other day of thinking for right now I am going to just go to bed.

New hobbies

So last year it was learning to knit and because I have learned to knit sometimes I feel I need to defend my honor and dignity. I feel there is nothing wrong with knitting, in fact it is fun and easy to do. But in the spirit of defending ones actions I have started fencing. No not selling stolen goods on the street but you know with a sword and stuff. I started last night and it was a lot of fun and I am not half bad. Not that I am ready at the moment for a snooty Frenchman to smack my face with a pair of gloves a defend myself, but within a few weeks hopefully I can spare without putting my eye out. :)

Kingsized Maestro

So me and diets are not friends. I tolerate them, however I am sure they want nothing to do with me. My body certainly does not care for them. Since I have decided to watch the calories my body has been fighting it. I have done a good job at keeping my intake lower. Granted I am sure there are times I could do better but I feel over all I am doing well. Now I do find that the weekends are the hardest to control. I don't keep the same schedule so my routine did not stay the same. I predict this is just how it is going to be. The drinking doesn't help I am sure. I do feel that if I can keep a tight rein during the week and loosen a bit on the weekends I will be fine. Unfortunately I feel my days of 2am runs to White Castle for fried cheese sticks may be over. Alas it will be fine. There are worse things I could give up.

I really shouldn't call this a diet this is a full on change of the way I eat. I just can't consume as much as I use to and I need to condition my body for that. As I enter the second week of this I go from moments where it has gotten easier and where it just feels worse. I am sure I will have it for a while. Or maybe I will chuck it all and purposely gain 65lbs to go on disability.

A silent protest of Prop 8

After watching the Golden Globes last night and all the bad hair and there was lots of bad hair. For example Drew Barrymore looked like she came from a wind tunnel. She has had good hair in the past so I can't think that she liked it. Several Celebs had hair that was just frizzy and ill kept. Again I know these people can have good hair so I asked myself why is this a problem tonight. I think I have figured it out. The gay communities silent protest of Prop 8 was to allow their straight female friends out looking like that. I can hear it now. "So homo friend number one does my hair really look fine? I just don't know." "Drew it looks great you will be a trend setter everybody will be wearing their hair like that at the Oscars." All the while sending a message to America and the voters of California "This is what happens when you piss us off and alienate us. You only have yourselves to blame. How is going to do your hair and dress you if not us. And you have to look at it. Look at it!!!!!"

I like Amy Adams but seriously you are looking like Cynthia Nixon.

And the worst of this is the ass that ate New York.

Seriously who let her out with the back fat. I know she was just pregnant but she could have found something more flattering. Ok so if we homos don't take care of you who will. Actually we will let the lesbians dress you and do your hair.

Open letter to my stomach

Dear Stomach,

I know, I know , I know... but I am not going to give you more food. You have had your daily allotment and you will get no more. If you find this to be a problem please refer your concerns to the metabolism. Please be aware it has gone on vacation and I a have not been informed as to when it will be returning. The reason for this reduction of caloric intake is because the gut has been complaining of over population in the area. You should be aware of the suburban sprawl of the ass as well. Until this condition can be rectified we will continue with the rationing of food.

Thank you for your concerns, they have been taken into consideration. You will be included on the monthly weight report.

The Body

Fortress of Solitude

I must say large groups of teenage girls frighten me, but large group of teenage boys just make me shake my head and roll my eyes. Though I also have to say large social groups of adults work the same way. No matter how "enlightened" or educated the people are the still pretty much act like high school kids. This may explain my aversions to large social settings. Actually it saddens me that it has become increasingly harder to become a hermit in this world. I have recently given thoughts of how to sequester myself away from the world. Don't get me wrong I love my friends and want them around. It's really everyone else that could just go away and I would be happy. I mean, ok large groups are fine when there is a hostage situation the more people the greater my chances of survival. Also when speeding down the highway as long as one person is going faster I won't get pulled over. So yes large amounts of people can be good for some situations.

What I am about to say I already knew and have accepted but it still bothers me that more people then not are just plain stupid. Stupidity bothers me. I will give you ignorance, because if you don't know any better fine you can learn. It's those you are ignorant, know they can change it and refuse to. That to me is stupidity and so many people are just dumb. I have a brother like that. If the resolution to a problem does not present itself in the first five seconds, there is nothing to be done about it. He is also the type of person that will ask you where the butter is in the fridge and you say on the third shelf. He will look in the fridge not see it and say it's not there. However if he had just moved the milk to the side a half inch he would have found it. You know those people. Ugh they just piss me off. I look at it this way I am pretty much an idiot, I have to work hard to learn something and if I can do it a trained monkey could do it so many times people have no excuses.

And this along with a laundry list of reason is why I hate people.

Today's rank has been brought to you by the letter R and the number 6.

Me vs Food

So it has been awhile because well I have been busy and didn't really care to update. But alas I feel like I need to continue writing something every so often.

Anyway.

I have never been one to count my calories. I have decided over the past 4 days to actually track my calories after the first day where, I won't tell you what that number was, the number was way too high and that was a typical day. First let me just say I could have eaten scrap metal in my 20's and processed it through my system. No I eat a blueberry and it may sit in my system till I die. So since Sunday I have restricted my eating to only a certian number of calories and oh dear god I was so light headed Monday night. I have been good I am on my 3rd day and it's not that bad I am just more aware of it and not just a little appalled at my eating habits. I knew they were bad but dear god it was bad.