“Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.”

That time has come again when I must do my duty to remind people of an often over looked holiday. What is this holiday you ask well it is Singles Awareness Day or S.A.D.. This day is celebrated every year by single Americans and some Canadians.

We singles need this day to remind ourselves, that we are not tired down to a loveless marriage or saddled with unsurmountable debt from unwanted children who should have fixed our relationship but only made things worse and led me to sleep with my secretary. No, we are free, free to sow our oats. Even though most of us are not farmers, but that is not the point. We are free to come and go or cum and go as we please. We can sit at home read a good book, watch tv, walk around naked, own as much porn as we like, have people over(after we stash the porn), go to a movie, go to a bar, yes my single friends the world is our oyster and we can grab the pearl or pearl necklace and not have to share.

See many would have you believe that a relationship is what you need. And who is telling us that? People who are already in a relationship. The pushers. Yes I said it. I am relating those in relationships to drug pushers because that is what it is... a drug. Much like any drug it's fun at first. It didn't really cost you anything but that is where they get you. They give you a taste and then it's too late, you have spent more money than you planned and you are trapped. There is no 12 step program for this, cold turkey makes it worse. The withdraws are horrible you just want to shoot the poor bastards. Then time out of one they just want back in one. Just like drugs. The road of vice has only one possible conclussion "Until death do we part". Just like drugs.

So on Thursday when climb out of the bed that you don't have to make because no one is there to tell you to make it because he left around 2 am, and you begin celebrating S.A.D. remember it's a big world out there and you are not alone. Well except for right now in that big house with no one to share your life with ... oh god I am going to die alone!!!!!!


Happy S.A.D. everyone!!!