Everywhere I go, There I am.

After spending much of this week banging my head against the wall and having headaches sneak upon me I have to ask myself, "How did I get to this place in my life?"

I say this not out of hating where I am and what I am doing but out of mild curiosity. Much in the same way I marvel at how in 5th grade I picked an instrument to play. I wanted to play drums but no one would let me. I couldn't play brass, my brother did that and I could never be like my brother, so I was left with woodwinds. I had no clue what a Bassoon was so that was out, I couldn't play Clarinet because people would beat me up and take my lunch money, I couldn't play Oboe, people would beat me up and take my lunch money, and I couldn't play the Flute because people would just beat me up on principle. Fair enough, so that left me with one option the Sax. I actually dislike this instrument and the fact I went into music despite that baffles me to no end.

I had never taken a lesson in my life, I really wasn't that good. How I got into the school of music is beyond me but there I was. I had plenty of other interests aside from music in High School. Why did I choose it? I still don't know. After leaving school I taught even though I wasn't in music ed. I worked in a ticket office, and then an advancement office doing fundraising. I hated that and yet there I was. Now I am back to teaching, again without a degree in education. How I got this and why I stay I don't know. I am perfectly fine with working other jobs and to do many things but I stay.

It's crazy how some choices we make put us where we are. I am sure had I not gone to the university that I did I would still have friends I wouldn't have the friends I do have. I am sure my life would be very different or maybe not. It's funny I really don't even think of the road not taken. I do think of the roads I could be taking in the future.

So here I am teaching at a private school, not just any private school but a catholic private school. I believe in public schools I believe that everyone should have the same opportunity in education. I don't believe that religion should be a main focus of an education unless you are in a seminary or something like that. I believe that religion should be part of your home life or part of your church or synagogue. So why am I here in a religion based private school. I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that I am not wanting to make this my life's pursuit.