Things change

and that is good I think.

So after having a conversation with S, in which she asked "Why would you want to be in charge of an organization that is so dysfunctional?" That was of course her response after going through a long litany of problems with the Big Gay Band and the fact I am auditioning for the conductorship. I had to think about it another day and I came to the conclusion that I really didn't want to. I had sat and watch how over 3 years the group has gone through conductors and how we have treated one another and really it's not going to get better and I can only change my behavior, I can't change theirs. To an extent I have changed, before I would bitch along with everyone and get upset. Now I show up, play and occasionally say wtf? But even that isn't fun. Mostly because I see how miserable my friends are in it and that is no fun. So why should I stay. I am hard pressed to find a reason. I like to play but I am confident I can find other venues.

So here I bid the Big Gay Band goodbye and good luck.

So in more upbeat news I am turning 33 in 10 days. I have absolutely no clue what I want to do. I think instead of doing something with all my friends I am going to break it up and do it in smaller groups. Because let's face it, not all of my friends get along, which is fine and I accept that. I would love for all of my friends to like each other for the same reasons I like them but alas never going to happen. Getting my friends together is like watching a 6th grade dance. Boys on one side and girls on another and the two shall never meet. Even in the few times they do it's again like watching 6th graders mingle, no eye contact and stammered conversations. So many oportunities this coming week and weekend to be with people I love.

Oh god that was kinda sappy wasn't it. Ok try this: So many opportunities to have free meals.

Ah that feels better.