foods I have tried

The Omnivore's 100
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba Ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie grois
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted Lassi
34. Sauerkraut (eww)
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (thank you Nicky Blaine's)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal (I tried it I didn't eat a lot of it because damn it was hot.)
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (I had a shot does that count?)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (Just reading this makes me want one.)
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (But didn't really care for it.)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores (Actually just the marshmallows and Graham crackers)
62. Sweetbreads ( I have to say I probably won't eat this one.)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

So ready for a break.

Projects to grade exams to create and past tests to grade. Granted my grading load is much lighter than most teachers and I am not really complaining it just is the increase over what I am use to through out the year that makes it busy. Not really stressful, Special K takes care of that for me. It's the end of the semester and we have recitals and performances. We have also started in to the Basketball season and I have a game tonight. I don't mind them but they just take time.

Going back to Special K for a moment, something happened this week that kind of got her in trouble and created more work for her. It also had the added bonus of freaking her out. And this was kind of my fault. The band, choir and orchestra have never had finals the Christmas concert has always served as their final and so on the day when their final would take place they just don't come in that period. We spread finals out over for days 1st and 2nd on the first day, 3rd and 4th on the second and so on. Well the new VP found out that the orchestra wasn't doing a final and she sent me an email asking me to explain. I tell her that as long as I have been here we never had and no one had said anything till now. I said I had no problem giving one and having them in on that day but this is how the Band and Orchestra always did it. Admittedly I have always thought that they should do something but if I started with the orchestra than the choir director and Special K would get all upset and I just don't have the energy to upset that apple cart. I also didn't have to mention that the band doesn't given a final either but I did anyway. Two reasons I guess one to take the spotlight off of just me and two to get Special K in trouble. Yea I am a dick and I know it.

So Special K is in a tizzy and calling me none stop again while I am in class. So I don't answer one reason is I know why she is calling and I don't want to deal with her. The other, more important reason, is because I have a class. My biggest complaint on this whole thing is, why did they wait till now to make this call. The principle is the one who made the decision to do this and he has always known we did it this way. Why now? but that aside I am fine with the change and pretty pleased. It's pisses Special K off and that makes me happy. Merry Christmas to me.

Belligerent Gay Driver- Tales From the Drive Thru!

What a strange day for our hero. We last saw him speeding away screaming and flipping the bird to some children, who I am sure deserved much worse. Anyway, it was a snowy day and all BGD really wanted was a cheese burger and a coke. It had been a long time since BGD had consumed fast food... shut up, ok it was last week. Back to the story, BGD rounds the corner of the local fast food establishment to find a sea foam green Accord parked roughly 25 ft from the drive thru. The truck "in front" of him was at the speaker. From this scene one may think that the truck just pulled up and the gentleman in the car behind had yet to notice. He was in one of those ambiguous spots where you ask yourself, do you go around or wait. One doesn't want to presume too much in these situations. So BGD waited, and waited... and waited... and honked. The drive who by the way was looking at the back of the truck this entire time decided to pull up. A foot. BGD patiently inches forward to give the drive the ok to move more than the foot he had taken and that in fact there were roughly 20 more he could cover. The driver took no notice. The truck moves on to the payment window. BGD doesn't move, except his hand to the horn where BGD proceeds to give another gentle reminder.

The driver or as we will call him from now on Arch Nemesis, moves up but not really far enough to make it to the speaker. The reason being is that the truck was still 20 feet ahead. One could only assume that was the reason. AN sat two feet from the speaker and 20 from the truck ahead. That was until the truck moved up and then AN felt it was fine to proceed to the speaker. BGD felt that things may now start moving along a bit faster. Foolish hero, AN's window went down, and then back up, and then back down this time for a considerable amount of time, and then back up....











And then the cars started moving. Until it hit the curb and then he backed up giving no heed to the people behind him, which considering the safe distance he gave the truck BGD found odd and proceeded to do some backing up of his own. All things began to move forward again. BGD rolls down the window. "What do you want?" crackled the speaker box. Ummm a better attitude for one thing. BGD found this odd because even the most surly of BK employees at least put on a light facade of giving a shit about their jobs. BGD gives his order and proceeds to the payment window. That was until he was met by, yep you guessed it Arch Nemesis with his window up and no one in front of him at the next window. BGD did not need to do anything because Surly Girl at the payment window knocked on AN's and waved her hand to usher him on to the next destination. BGD was grateful for the unlikely ally.

BGD pays and would like to pull forward but alas AN had his window down and accepting his rations. His window goes up and ... (Wait for it)





BGD honks



Surly Girls side kick Bitchy motioned AN on. He of course only pulled up 3 feet not quite enough room for BGD to pull up get his food and leave. BGD did what any other hero would do. He honked the horn and flipped AN off. AN pulled up 15 feet and stopped. BGD grabs his food and speeds away. AN could very well still be in that parking lot staring at his food.

And the moral of the story is: Move your ass you fuctard.

Holiday Break

As per most holiday breaks I started this one with drinking. Blanche and FN stayed in, but Mom and Romeo were out last Tuesday, I lost count of drinks at 5 I know people had bought me drinks mostly to get me to sing. I am not sure how it happened but I found myself singing "Shiney Happy People" by R.E.M. I had the day off Wednesday and spent a good portion of the day with my friends from Iowa. It was great we had lunch and then went to the Library where we read a little, chatted a lot and had some tea. I know that sounds nerdy but they had not seen the Library since it's renovation so that was the main reason for going. After that we went shopping and then I had to leave to pick mom up for dinner with the boys and Athena. We went to a place called Zing. Very much like Tapas but not Spanish. All the food was great I highly recommend the place and the Tiramisu Martini. After that most of us went to Olleys and drank and then to Gregs to drink. I got bored and went home.

Thursday was time spent with the Family. As I said to my friend Sarah, Holidays should have enough time to spend with the people you love as well as time spent with Family. I actually enjoyed this Thanksgiving mostly because the idiot brother and his shrew of a wife were not there. My eldest niece who is a Freshman in high school told me that she wanted to go to Georgetown and be in the foreign service school. I really hope she does because then she can be an ambassador to a good country that I can go visit. :)

Friday I spent with Xena and the friends from Iowa. We had Turducken. As Jamie called it all day the frankenbird. I just called it Thanksgiving from the Island of Dr. Moreau. For those who don't know it's a Turkey with a duck stuffed inside and a chicken stuffed inside the duck. It also had stuffing and as if that wasn't bad enough we wrapped it in bacon. All in all this abomination of nature was pretty good.

I think it was a good vacation. I only got 3 hrs sleep last night but I am surprisingly awake today. I know it won't happen but I am looking out my window at all the snow and hoping for an early dismissal because of snow. Ah too much to hope for.

Ok so this made me smile.

From time to time I like to see who is reading my blog and many times I get one time hits because they are searching for something and my blog pops up but this one threw me because really who would be searching for "Pretentious Wall Coverings"?????

And to add to my bizaro foreign readers I can say. Welcome readers from Serbia, Bulgaria and Saudi Arabia. The last one gives me pause because now I can add that to the Yemen, Pakistan and Iran readers I don't know what about my blog screams extreme religious fanaticism. (I can't believed I spelled fanaticism right on my first try.)

All I have to Say.

Over two weeks I was to have 3 dates with two separate guys and all three were either canceled or I was completely stood up. Made to wait in a restaurant for 30 minutes alone.



To That I say.

Oh how I love my crack house...

Or my knit shop. Kinda the same thing. I look forward to going there and spend way more than I planned to. Yesterday I went in with the intent of getting one skein of yarn to complete a scarf for my niece. I walked out with two sets of needles, 5 balls of yarn, a pattern for socks and an invitation to come by anytime to work on projects and the people working there would help me out. I also was told that there would be a huge sale the day after Christmas everything in the store at least 30% off. Yes so if you like to knit and live in Indy or may be visiting Indy over Christmas go to the Mass Ave Knit Shop and stock up. They are running the sale till Dec 31st.

So yes I love this place and I encourage all who like to knit to visit this wonderful opium den. Yes I am comparing my knitting habit to drug addiction.

Yes I do know what I am doing.

I come across this every year and in a month or two the satisfaction of being right will come but in the mean time I have to live with "I don't understand why I have to do this?" or "This is a waste of time." or "Why can't I just write like Beethoven." The answer to the last is because Beethoven understood what I am asking you to do. And it's not a waste of time. The old saying is true you can't run before you can sit up. And you students are just learning to roll over. But they will get there, I understand frustrations they are having. I just look forward to the day when the student says "Thanks for making me do that it is so helpful."

It will happen, it always does.

This Bra Bomb had better work nerdlinger.

So joy of nerdy joy, my pocket Constitution came in the mail yesterday. I got it as my gift for making my pledge to Public Radio. I have been doing this for several years and every year I opt out of the gift because I figure that money would be better served for programing. But this year I don't know I felt like I wanted something and when they rattled off the premiums and they hit the pocket Constitution I actually gasped to the woman taking my pledge. It was probably the gayest and nerdiest moment in my life and that is saying a lot. I love the notion that I received the law of the land and contributing to the public discourse. I love NPR I listen to it everyday. I will stop now before I start sounding like their beg-a-thons.

I am a big civics fan I like knowing how things work. Am I an expert?, no but I would like to think I am informed. I think my favorite part is presidential history. I am the only person I know that in elementary school was reading history books, for fun. I also read the dictionary for fun. I was a severely disturbed child.

So I started reading through the constitution it was fun I put it on my night stand next to Sarah Vowell's "The Wordy Shipmate", A book about the years of 1783-1800 in America, and "The Subtle Knife" the second book after "The Golden Compass".

Did I mention I am kind of nerdy.

Knitting and other indoor sports.

So this weekend was a bit on the chilly side so I opted to stay in. Ok I say that as if I had better offers out there. But I did stay in and I got some things done. I hung more things on my wall. hopefully by the 6 month mark I will have completely unpacked. I have 2 weeks left I am sure I can do it. I am not holding my breath on that one most of the time when I move I find that I have a box or two that the contents have not seen the light of day. This time around I have to say everything is out of boxes however my lack of living space has become a challenge to putting said stuff away. So with that in mind I decided to tackle a small problem that has become a big problem. What do I do with all my yarn? I took up knitting last year over Thanksgiving and I found that buying yarn was an addiction akin to heroine. I have continued to buy and buy and have done nothing with so Saturday I broke out the needles and started not one, not two, not even three but 5 projects. Two of which I have finished. So what people should take from this is that most of you will be receiving something hand knit from me this year. I have to say as a cost cutter for Christmas this is genius. I buy the yarn over time so I am not slammed with lot of purchases in December. The trick is to get everything done. I am not worried I am sure I will get it accomplished.

Though I must say I spent probably 12 hours on Saturday on my couch and I woke up Sunday with the worst back ache so I actually left the house and when I got back I did house work. I got a lot done, but sad times I am back at school and my back is still hurting. I need different furniture or at least new places to sit in my apartment.

Meanwhile back at the ranch...

"The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein

It has been a while since I have complained about Special K. Mostly because I haven't seen her enough to really get annoyed this semester which has been a good thing.Except I am putting together the list for Solo and Ensemble. The same problem occurs every year same problem, we require them to participate and then Special K insists on hand holding them through the process giving away more time in class than I feel is needed. She concedes this is a problem and says we need to come up with a solution. I am a problem solver I like solving problems I am sure I can come up witha few ideas. I do and this is the response, "Yea, I don't think that is going to work so we are not going to do that." So what do we do? We trudge through yet another disorganized year and become an even bigger joke in the world of music education. Ok here are her ideas "...?" You can see she is contributing greatly to finding a solution. Is it any wonder I am looking to get out of this situation.

But I digress, why is it that I feel like I continually bang my head against a wall? Oh I forgot to mention that she likes to call me when I am in class and she knows I am in class and interestingly enough she should be in class. Oh god I hate days like today.

Things that piss me off today

Why do Students feel the need to badger at a point they have already lost. We had a discussion today in theory actually over something not related. The student asked a question. I answered, for some reason he thought I was wrong. So know I have to go into great detail about it which takes up time. Even after that he still wanted to argue. I explained my point in a different way. And yet here we were again with him argueing me. Not in anyway to explain his point except with "It's A!" When I have clearly 3 different ways showed him that it is B. I had to after 10 minutes just say I would no longer engage in the arguement and yet he would bring it up through out the class. I just wanted to say "Look you are just being a dick, shut up."

Ugh why do they do that. I would have never argued with a teacher like that. I think there would have come a time when the teacher or college professor would have just kicked me out of their classroom.

Maybe I should do that.

Ok that was kind of fun

I have spent my evening watching returns and they just called the race for Obama and I wish CNN would stop showing only black people in Grant Park. But aside from that I am excited for the outcome. For the first time since 1996 I have not had dread for the future of the country.

Alright with that in mind I am off to bed.

Oh I forgot to rejoice,

George W. Bush can't be reelected. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mentally I am doing cartwheels.

Kids today.

Blah Blah Blah, I voted on Friday, yea early voting. That isn't what this entry is about. But if you haven't voted please do so. It is your civic duty as an American citizen to do so. Unless you are one of the Pakistanis reading this blog.

Anyway so it has been fun today asking the seniors in my classes if they have voted. Many that are old enough to have already. I don't ask who they voted for I don't care. I look at it this way how many of us at age 18 had a well formed opinion about politics? I remember when I first became aware of politics I decided that I was a Republican because my parents were Democrats and I wasn't like my parents so I must be something else. I had no idea what either meant and at the time I didn't care. In my county there were very few Democrats on any ticket so I assumed it was good to be a Republican. Not that being either is better or worse. I think both parties can have good qualities and not so good qualities.

In the years since my first election experience I have become an avid supporter of knowing your candidate and what he or she stands for and what they are most likely going to do in office. See there is the thing what they MAY do in office. We all know from experience that what is said on the campaign trail and done in the public service can be drastically different. I try to remind people that the President is not an all powerful dictator and can not do what ever they wish, though contrary to the last 8 years. But my favorite part of this is when students express opinions. I usually zero in on the loudest voice and calmly ask a simple question. That question being "Give me five issues that your candidate supports and why you agree or disagree." That usually stumps them, because they are unaware of what the issues are. I then like to challenge them to find out and see if they actually still like their candidate of choice. Understand I only do this to the loud mouth students who are berating other students for their choices. And yes I have done this for students supporting either Party.

I did find it fun however to explain what a Libertarian was. And why Bars are closed on election day.

Happy election day go our and vote unless you already have and in that case have a nice day.

I am not sure who is more confussed?

I say that because last Saturday I was on 16th street behind an SUV. On the back right window there was an Obama 08 Sticker and on the left there was a Bob Barr 08 sticker. Either these people are covering all their bases or they have a wicked sense of humor. I also found it funny that the Obama was on the right and Barr was on the left. Except when the person looks out their rear view mirror. Still noticing the lack of McCain stickers. I don't want to jinx this or anything but we may be living in a blue state come tomorrow. But I am not holding my breathe because I hate passing out.

Seriously

Since I have the day off I have been watching a lot of TV and I just saw a commercial for a show called "Raising the Bar" and at the end of the commercial it said "Don't miss the next episode of 'Raising the Bar' brought to you by Viagra." Really? Could we be a little more blatant in our advertising?

Open Letter

To my friends and strangers who blog,

I am bored. You people need to start writing or I am going to be forced to do real work and nobody wants that.

Thank you

9.5

That is how many hours before I am free of the shackles. I will have a 4 day weekend with no commitments to this school to bring me back here. What really sucks is that I couldn't just leave as soon as the bell rings. No I have to come back for Parent Teacher Conferences. Which would be fine if I didn't just sit there and have no one to talk to. Parents don't come to talk to me for the most part the kids are doing fine in my class or if they are not I have already spoken with the parents so nothing really to discuss. So there I will be with my computer open with nothing to do but Bubble shooter.

Yet another busy weekend.

So my weekends have been filling up lately and I am so glad that I have a 3 day work week this week. Thank god for Fall break. So any way Friday night was the first night of sectional play and is it bad of me to have hoped for a loss so we wouldn't have any more games to play for? Sad times though because we won. Damn it! Well the upshot was that because I had also made plans for Friday night I got to leave at the half. I ran home and changed for a Halloween party. The boys and mom (not my real mother) decided to do a group number and we went as the Munsters. I was Grandpa, mom as Eddie, Blanche as Lily and FN as Herman. We would have had a Marilyn if Romeo had felt better, but he stayed home. I got really drunk (shock) and ended up at Gregs for a bit until someone said something about food and we then proceeded to Olleys for breakfast. To tell you how drunk I was I smudged my make up on the window of Olleys. Did I mention I used my face to smudge it there? I did wipe most of it off with a napkin but a lot of it was still there the next night.

Speaking of, Yes I know I said I would never do the Bag Lady Bus tour again but I went to take care of my friends Athena and Mom. This was Athena's first time and I think she had mixed feelings about it. My problem the last time I did it was that the bars we went to were so damned crowded, people smoking on the buses and it went on for like 8 hours. This time around there were less people in the bars or I opted out of going into the bars, No one could smoke on the buses and they shortened the tour so I was much happier and we didn't run out of booze. That was helped because on one of the stops I ran to the liquor store and got more Jack Daniels. :) All went well there was no vomiting on the bus this year and no one tried to grab my junk. Though it was touch and go (so to speak) in the 501, Athena and Mom thought it would be great to pimp me out to the dirty old men. I just smiled a lot and didn't offer up any body parts. It was fun to meet Cherry Ride who is a part of my blog roll but you wouldn't know it since he hasn't blogged in like 2 months. Cherry came done from Chicago with his friends who use to live in Indy. Here is hoping this jump starts his blogging again.

Let's see what else happened on that bus tour. I was accosted by a member of the Big Gay Band. He I believe thinks that we are no friends because I left the band. I am not sure why that is. I stated to him that my reasons for leaving is because people obsess over the BGB and want to stir up drama. Much like his wanting to continue the conversation at the next 15 stops on the tour. He told me that he agrees that people are gossipy and drama and need to let things go. Yet there I was rehashing things I had let go of months ago. Thank god FN understood I needed saving and got me out the first time. I was like let it go man I am not drunk enough to deal with you. I appreciate that he acknowledges that they are messed up and need a lot of fixing and that I could have done some good but I don't care anymore. This would have been a good revelation to have had a year ago.

Now on to something else. Shout outs go to Veronica Storm, Ladonna, Donna Rhea and my gurl Halle Pino for competing in the Bag Lady Pageant and congrats to Donna Rhea as the new Bag Lady Queen. And because I loves me some Halle Pino I will say this once and in public, Halle was robbed!! :) That was for you Halle love you, mean it.

Well that pretty much rounds out my weekend. It was long and tiring but a good time was had by me.

My life on tv

So I for some reason last night watched two episodes of Nanny 911. Yea, I don't know either. Anyway I was noticing some parallels in what was going on in the show and what goes on at work. Special K is the worrying mother that doesn't want to discipline the children and do everything for them but gets upset when the children won't do for themselves or behave. And I am the Father who goes around yelling at the kids and cleaning up after them and then gets angry at the mother for inconsistent behavior. I gotta say it was way creepy to see it being played out on TV. I mean really it is exactly what I see every day. Example I just received a call from Special K. Saying the truck that she rents for the band that needs to go back today is still full of stuff. I have been telling her all week to get it done. But she calls me and wants me to send my class, My Class over to unload it in the rain. My lesson plan be damned. I love how she asks if I have a class right now. I should have said no because I don't answer the phone during class unlike someone I might mention. Seriously what the f*ck is her problem. I told her no because I am giving a quiz on Monday and today they have to review. Sorry about her, I have my stuff planned and I need to stick to my schedule. She is so disorganized, she has had since last Saturday when we got back from regionals to get that done. I said that night we should have unloaded it. She said it would be fine to wait for Monday, of what week!?!?!?!?!?!?

Anyway back to my original thought do you think that the Nanny's would want to come and work with a band?

Sad times

I knew it wouldn't last. I knew I would find something that would break us up. I just had no idea it would be so soon and I would grow to despise him so quickly. I am speaking of course about my imaginary bf, the hot guy who moved in down the hall last month. I never even learned his name. But it matters not. When I saw the McCain/Palin sign in the window of his apartment and I knew it could never be. So long hot guy down the hall.

Busy weekend

Here is a recap of my weekend.

Friday Work and then a football game. The football game was annoying and I will tell you why. First we have no field to play on so we must travel somewhere in the city to play our games. This is fun let me tell you. So with that in mind as I was leaving the campus a parent comes running up to tell me that no one was driving the last shuttle of kids as they just sat in the van. As I was pulling my car back into it's parking space another parent jumped into the drivers seat. Great because I hate driving kids anywhere. So I am following the last shuttle and it stops on Emerson and the parent gets out of the car and walks back to my car and tells me that a student is back at the school. So I turn around and go back for the student. I pick her up and we head back down town to the game. I am just seconds from the field when Special K calls to tell me a kid left his instrument at the school. Not just a student but a Senior and one who thought he should have been section leader, uh huh. I pull up let the child out and Special K tells me not only did one student leave their instrument but 2 others as well. So I turn back around and drive back to the school for the instruments. I get them and get back to the game roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes after I started. Yes giving new meaning to driving all over hells half acre.

Saturday starts with a phone call from Romeo seeing if I wanted to do breakfast with him and Blanche. I say sure and head to the shower but before I get there my phone rings and it's a parent who needs into the shed. I ask if they had tried Special K they said yes but she wasn't answering. Great! I head to school and let them in and then I go home shower, change and head to breakfast. Good breakfast and a much needed break from kids since I had to leave breakfast and go back to school where I load buses and go to southern Indiana for a marching band competition. We lost but that is fine. At least that meant we didn't have another weekend of this crap. So we get home around midnight and the last kids is picked up about 1am and then I can go home.

Sunday I get up and lay in bed contemplating getting up. An hour later I get up and move to the couch. 3 hours later I get up and take a shower. At this point I need to get ready and go back to school for an Orchestra concert. That all goes fine and I am pleased with the way they played. Was it great? No, but it was head and shoulders above where there were last year for the first concert. I had many people not sure what the songs were that they played. I couldn't have told you and I had the score in front of me. This year however it sounded great (for them) and you could recognize and even hum along to the tunes. So bravo to my Strings. :)

After that I ran home to change because I didn't feel like staying in a suit for the rest of the night. I then head to a drag show. My friend Blanche aka Summer Clearance did a great number where she was dressed as Sarah Palin and performed to Harper Valley PTA. I must say the "illusion" of the Governor was spot on. I was very impressed with how he pulled it off. Now the main reason I was there was to support Halle Pino (Romeo) who was competing that night for the crown of Bag Lady Queen. She did a great job and I hope she wins. She has done a lot for the Bag Ladies which is a fundraising organization that is a group of men in dresses. I do not call them Drag Queens because for many of them the female illusion is lost when there is a full beard and chest hair especially when your evening gown has a plunging neck line. I do give a shout out to all the Bag Ladies who competed this year but I still hope my girl Halle wins. She did a fierce performance to a dance remix of Can You Feel the Love Tonight. Of course she did it in a cat outfit complete with ears and tail. Also for the talent potion you would be amazed what she can do to/with a piccolo. And yes I boiled it before I put it back in it's case.

So that was my surreal weekend. And I wasn't drunk for any of it. Though I wanted to be.

*Shaking my head*

So I was walking through the student parking lot today and in a span of 100 ft I saw a Porsche, Lexus, Mercedes and a BMW. I have the wrong job.

So very bored

So yesterday the students took the PSAT and I had to proctor one of the classrooms and let me tell that is just more fun the a big box of black death. It's just super boring at least the kids had a test to kill the time I just had to sit there. Of course I spent the time grading quizzes and whatnot but that can only take up so much time. So it became boring really fast.

Speaking of boring after the testing we had a professional development day. This one involved diversity. I feel we as teachers do a good job diversifying our curriculum to reflect a diverse world. I mean I understand when you are teaching English Lit you can only get so diversified. But over all I think we do a good job. I also feel we make every class as inclusive as possible. I know my classes are pretty well rounded and I would like to think that each of those kids feel like they are getting the attention they need. So I ask if we are doing that and have a person whose job title is Director of Diversification and she has a committee of faculty members and a club on campus for it. Why are we doing this again? I don't know. I am all for diversity and it's important to be aware but 3 hours and 15 minutes aware.

You know what I became aware of? The texting feature on my phone. I started off just sending to my friends but then moved on to other teachers several tables away and then the teachers at my table. I am serious when I say teachers make the worst students. I of course sat in the back of the room and talked, texted, played tick-tack-toe, hangman and was in general a nuisance. The only time we as a table shut up was when the speaker moved about the room and he came back to our table. I know that look and I know that move I used it that morning while the kids took the PSAT. I say this is what makes me a great teacher. Why is that you ask, because I know all the signs and all the tricks. Like I told the kids "You can't fool me because I have done it and I did it better."

So here is just a bit of a text conversation I had with a teacher sitting right next to me.

Her: How do we get out of this?
Me: Well we could come up with a phony excuse.
Her: Better yet why don't you stab yourself and I can help you to the hospital.
Me: Umm I don't like that plan.
Her: Well you can stab yourself in a place that won't cause much damage just a flesh wound. We need to see blood.
Me: Ummm still not liking it. How about an aneurysm. It's internal they couldn't tell.
Her: I think they need to see blood.
Me: I am allergic to pain.
Her: I think you are chicken do you want to get out of this or not.
Her: Is the guy standing behind me?*
Me: Yes*
* I made the last 2 lines up. But I thought it made it funnier.

Reorganizing and fun with laundry.

Oh holy jesus. Laundry is such an under taking for me. I live on the 3rd floor, if you count the basement I am on the 4th. The laundry is in the basement. I am on the far east side of the building. The only stairs to the basement are on the far west side. Only two apartments are farther than mine from the laundry facilities. So when I do laundry it is a commitment. I also hate going down to check because if it's not done then I have walked up and down all those stairs for nothing. Which is what I did last night. 8 times. I wasn't counting or anything. and there are 55 steps from the bottom to the top and 107 steps from the top of the stairs to my front door. Again who is counting really. It really isn't that far or that bad but when it's the last thing you want to do in your day it's like asking me to scale K2 to add fabric softener.

I made the mistake last Sunday of wanting to reorganize. I say mistake because this is what ends up happening. Me: "Why can't I find anything, it's a small apartment I should be able to find stuff." So I pull everything out of drawers and shelves to sort and put back in a more logical order. Well the first half worked out well. Everything is now in the middle of my living room and bedroom and kitchen and bathroom. I am easily distracted. This is a common phase when "reorganizing" "Ooooooooooo, I forgot I had *insert random piece of crap here*. I must look at it, read or otherwise waste time. " I do this quite often. The contents of my life get pulled to the center of the room for me to look over and then leave for weeks on end until I have company. At which point I frantically shove everything back into whatever available spot so it's out of the way. I think I have a set of dried markers I have been trying to get rid of for 5 years because of this process.

Now because I have haphazardly thrown all my belongs back into whatever area would hold, I look around and lather, rinse, repeat. This cycle needs to end. Also I swear I got rid of a crap load of stuff when I moved. The question is where does it all keep coming from. Why store anything I am never going to use again. Since moving this last time I have been to the goodwill drop off like 7,000 times. (Hyperbole is the Best thing ever!!!) Yet I still find more things to get rid of. Why do I spend so much time doing this. Why can I not just get rid of it and stop bringing more things into the house. I don't know but when some one figures it out I would greatly appreciate it.

Why I fear for the future

Or why I hate teenagers.

Now I know I felt a sense of entitlement as a teenager and that on occasion I would express that to my peers and maybe in an outburst with my parents but I would have never in my wildest moment ever manifest that in front of a teacher. As anyone who went to high school with me can attest I was a kiss ass, a teachers pet. If I didn't suck up directly to the teacher I pretty much was never bothersome to them. I never received a detention in all of high school or middle school. I was always a good kid in class. Yes I would talk from time to time but I had a healthy fear of my teachers. If not the teachers then the ramification of my parents finding out and my father I had a fear of him angry. I am fairly certain I can make this claim because when I did finally do something punishment worthy in high school I was let off the hook with this said to me. "If it were any other student you would have been suspended but because it's you I will let it go."

Yes I disagreed with teachers and coaches growing up but I never had the back bone to say it out loud. At least not til college where I would talk back whenever I wanted to.

In general I find that teenagers at my school at least feel a sense of entitlement and that entitlement says "I can do and say what I want and I don't care." I think the most frustrating part is that we as a faculty let them. I can't imagine a single teacher in my high school that would have stood for me making the comments I hear everyday.

Example, yesterday in my theory class we got on the topic of band camp and how ticked I was when the seniors crawled all over my car and wouldn't move and put dents in the hood and roof. One of the seniors sat there and said to my face that I deserved it because I wouldn't let them Saran wrap and dump water on me. I deserved to be harassed and have property damage because I didn't want to be harassed in the first place? In all seriousness I wanted to get up out of my chair and punch him in the face. He then went on to say that he didn't feel it was his fault because he didn't climb on my car. I pointed out that he did nothing to stop them and in fact was yelling and encouraging the others to do so. In my mind I find his actions as deplorable as everyone else's. He then sat there and said "Well that may be but I refuse to say I am sorry." When you are so in the wrong how can you make things worse? mmmmmm say just that to a person obviously very upset with you.

It really isn't teenagers and it's not just this generation it's this mentality. This notion that we can treat each other badly and it's ok. This lack of respect not just for an authority figure but for yourself, other people and the activities that you participate. We are far more focused on getting the respect for ourselves before we would even deign to give it to someone else. What ever happen to thinking of others first. Let me through out a cliche for you. Walk a mile in another mans shoes. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. Yes corny, yes cliche but seriously grow up people and be less selfish in our thoughts and in our actions. Yes people can be pricks but do we need to be a prick back?

This rant has been brought to you by the fact I need to get away from this job.

Me and printers

I swear I can never have a good moment with a printer. My last one spoke in tongues and would forget where it was and what it was suppose to do. This one is a true corporate product developers wet dream. It has 4 ink cartage's and will not work when one isn't full. even if you don't need that color. Example I have 4 ink wells, Blue, Magenta, Yellow and black. The Blue, Yellow and Magenta were low and the blue had just run out. I was trying to print something that just used the colors Black and white. Did it print? No, it just kept saying I needed more Blue. I didn't have any blue and besides I don't need it just print. So at 11 pm last night when I realized I had not done this I said f*ck it and I went to Meijers because it is the only thing close by still open. Did they have the ink I needed? No, they did not. So I came to work with nothing printed off. Could I email it to myself? Sure except I don't have the program to open it with on my work computer. Could I bring my computer and print it off there? I could except I can't get the computer to recognize the printer so that is a no go. Why oh why could I not have noticed the problem 2 hours earlier when Target was still open and I could have gone there for the ink. I love the fact you can't just have a black and white printer, but you have to get all the colors of the rainbow which of course is only made by the company for that specific printer. God bless America. Aren't we in some kind of financial crisis because of greed? Hmm

What I did with my evening

To answer a question yes 4 months after moving in I still have free cable. God bless the laziness of the American worker. Speaking of incompetency, I watched the VP debates at a bar last night. I must say I got less angry surrounded by people then I probably would have if I had sat at home watching. I must Say Governor Palin did a great job of sticking to the talking points and staying on message. I the times that showed how utterly unprepared for the task were when they would deviate from the talking points. She would always and very awkwardly steer the subject back to McCain is a "maverick". I feel Senator Biden did an adequate job. I never felt he was condescending to the Governor nor was he terribly exciting to listen to or watch. When he went into the minutia and figures for the McCain health care plan I looked at FN and said "Oh, my god this is so boring. All he needs are the charts and he could be Perot." I appreciate detail work but come on here you have beside you some one who can be coached and very engaging as long as we are talking about something she read about two hours before. Joe you really needed to step up the charisma, or get some. Don't get me wrong he had some good moments I really feel when he talked about Pakistan, Chad, and the role of a VP he was very on and engaging which really emphasised her complete lack of knowledge and skill in this area. When she started talking about the role of a VP I just shook my head. She made a comment about the founding fathers, I just wanted Gwen to jump in and say "Name four of the founding fathers." I have a feeling she wouldn't be able to do that. Not that I don't think she knows any of them but because she wouldn't have been prepared for that. Ok actually I don't think she could have named 4 founding fathers.

Here's the thing when it comes to my elected officials I want them smarter than me. If they are in the White House or they could be in spitting distance of getting into the White House through a bizarre chain of events (Gerald Ford) I want them to be Waaaaaaaaaay smarter than me. Do I think Governor Palin is smart. I think she is shrewd, I think she knows how to play the game. Is she dumb?, no. But is she really smart enough to be in the second highest office in the land? No!

Again I am not overly pleased with either candidates but of the two hands down I will pick the Senator. When asked about his weakness of being disciplined she should have said look how disciplined I am I haven't smacked this twit to my left so I must be doing something right.

Ok and can we talk about that hideous green jacket Gwen was wearing?

Thank god for Athena

So a few months ago my TV died. It was sad and awful and I thought to myself. This is a perfect opportunity to ween myself from the idiot box altogether. Yes well like a trapped animal I want to gnaw my foot off and get a new tv. Well with money being tight and the offer from Athena to borrow one of her many TV's I broke down and am joining the rest of the world (well at least the developed world) in front of the boob tube. Yes I know I can watch most of the shows I like on line. But really I am doing this because I have found myself tethered to my computer too much. There is a sort of freedom of putting the TV on and doing house work while it plays in the back ground. The computer demands much more of my time and focus. Even when it's the mindless focus of playing Mahjong online. It will also be nice to put my DVD player back to work. Plus the laptop gets really warm sitting on my stomach watching movies.

So yes I have caved but it's ok. I know that I can put the remote down from time to time and do real things. As much as I hate the news sometimes, I miss watching it. I read it yes, I hear it on NPR yes but Anderson Cooper is so dreamy. Mmmmmmm Anderson Cooper.

Wait where was I. Ah yes TV Several shows still hold my attention and I would like to be able to watch them when they appear and not have conversations like this. "If it's about last night's episode of Hero's I don't want to know I haven't seen it yet." Followed by my fingers in my ears yelling "LALALALALALALALALALALALALAICAN'THEARYOULALALALALALA" It's just a bit childish and the people in the restaurant look at you funny.

So yes I still read books, yes I still have gym membership (no I haven't been going) and yes I can still hold a conversation. The only difference is that conversation is about "Lost".

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Over the last week I have been asking myself that question. Many of the aspects of my job have been weighing me down. For a change it really isn't about Special K, though her presence in my work life is not all that conducive to happiness for all. I am just to a point where I think I need to be able to leave work at work and not have my life revolve around it. Case in point I haven't had 2 days in a row to myself and even when I had yesterday off I was grading papers and prepping for the week ahead. I probably wouldn't mind if I didn't come home most days exhausted and wake up the same way. On the upside my limited interaction with Special K has made sleeping much easier and my stress level plummet. So yes, there are positives here.

So I guess the question is, what do I do if I don't do this? do have another 8 months to figure it out. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.

Yes I am still alive

It has been incredibly busy. today was my first real day off without having to do something work related in two weeks. I did take a day off last week but I don't consider going to the doctor and being ill a day off. Unless you are faking it but I was not. Unfortunately.

So yes I am alive but super distracted at work.

Quite possibly the worst week ever, or My What is What.

"We can't renew your license sir."

"Why not?"

"It's been suspended since September of 2004"

I am sorry what????!?!??!??!?

Yes this was my yesterday after work. Apparently a speeding ticket I got 4 years ago, that I paid was not paid and therefore I have been driving around for 4 years without a drivers license. You think this would have come up when I registered my car or bought insurance.

So I have already put in a request to get my bank records for that time and take it to the court and be like look assholes I paid this. The fun thing is no one can tell me how much it is or anything about the case. The other thing is I only received a "please pay this ticket" letter from them nothing about a suspended license. FOR FOUR YEARS!!!!!!

Seriously you would think you would send a note every so often. I have received a grand total of 3 speeding tickets in my life. I have paid them all. I am so pissed off. My friend S asked how I would get to work. I said really I have been driving 4 years without a license why worry now?

So yea if this is what the year of 33 is going to bring me I would rather skip it and be 34 right now.

Where is this all going?

Random observation during resource today. Not so much today I have actually been noticing this over several days. There is a girl in the resource with a cup that says tips and she has just been wondering around collecting money. To what end I am unsure, I feel I should ask but something could happen. Like I could get an answer.

The past three days I think I have been running a fever. I could be wrong but it has felt like I have had a cold without having a cold. Does that make sense? I have been run down, a little flemy, constant headache and my forehead has felt warm but I know I am a bad judge of those things so who knows. I really want to just take a day off. I don't know if it's because I am actually ill or just your run of the mill tired.

I have been also tossing around the idea of chucking it all here and looking for a job in another city. Of course that can't happen until next summer and who knows how I will feel then. So really this is just me rambling.

Things that piss me off... today

There are times I truly envy those who have jobs that allow them to go hours or maybe even a day without human interaction. Why do I say this? Well an example would be the pain in my ass known as resource. I have talked about it but have never really given a solid explanation on it. Resource has been sold to parents as a time when students can relax, unwind but most importantly, study. This is a load of crap. Reason number one, I would say only about 10% of those students are actually studying. I also find it hard to believe that they are actually studying at all because of reasons 2-4. Now the other 90% may at some point over the course of a semester might sit down to "study". I quote this because when they do it's really called cheating, copying homework they themselves neglected to do.



The other 90% engage in one of the following, talk quietly with friends, play ping pong, play fuzzball, or "work" on the computer. Let's tackle the first one shall we. Talking quietly with friends, really this is talking loudly and inappropriately with people in the general area. Often it is shouting to people halfway across the room. This leads to a general crowd noise one would associate with a train station.



Playing Ping pong. Imagine if you will Robin Williams and Jim Carey on crack and then on an icy patch playing ping pong. This approximates what I witness on a daily basis. Non of these kids have a clue about finesse nor do they care. I am constantly seeing them chasing after the ball because someone has smashed it as hard as they could in hopes of winning a point. In reality they miss the table completely and lose a point.



Fuzzball yet another fun game that a little more skill and a lot less aggression would help their game. And the fact that one of the children continues to make a high pitched squeal every time he spins the handle. I don't know it this a nervous tick or what but it is quite annoying. Now I will have to admit that I enjoyed today when the child was standing too close to the table and nailed himself in the balls. He had complete control over the situation. 1 step back a step or 2 don't pull the handle so hard. He did neither and continued all period tagging himself in the nuts. Stupid kids.

All of this noise and general stupidity is completely acceptable by the administration, how do I know? I asked. They want the students to feel free to relax. Oh they can also sleep during this time. You know what they can't do. Eat, drink or untuck their shirts. There is some real inconsistencies going on here.

And that is just a few of the things that piss me off.

Also some Jack ass broke my back door window and now I have to get it replaced. Did they take anything? Nope just broke the window. On other peoples cars? Nope just mine. I don't know what I did in a past life but seriously this shit sucks.

On Substitute Teaching

First let me clarify that subbing can be easy money. It can also be a big pain in the ass, for much the same reason it's easy money. You don't do much of anything. Example, today I was subbing for a US history class. The teacher is *shock* a football coach. The football team had to leave early because their game is 2.5 hours away. So they had to leave before the end of the day. Anyway in typical fashion I show up for the teacher, who has no idea who I am, to tell me to have them do these work sheets in groups and then give them a homework assignment due Monday. Ok? anything else? Nope, great! I am on board with this. However it is 48 minutes of sitting and doing nothing. I have already checked my mail several times and it's almost the weekend so I am not starting any new projects so there I am staring at the students who in turn are staring at me. The clocks in this particular building are never right and the kids try to get me to let them go early. I just throw them a look that suggests I know they are full of shit without saying it. I just gently remind them that they have to wait for the bell to ring and then they are free to go. What I really want to say is "look I don't want to be here either I usually have 8th period free."

The pay for subbing isn't great but then again I am just baby sitting. I say when you as a teacher are not there for the class the room just fills with a knock out gas that lasts roughly 45 minutes. That way they have a few minutes to gain their barrings before heading to their next class. I think this and the shock collars are the best ideas for secondary education ever.

I do not teach fluff

Just for the record, music if taught correctly is not a just mindless fun it is a serious academic pursuit. For all those nay sayers out there I say I can take Calculus and get an A faster than some people could take Music Theory and get an A. I had a student today ask if theory was a year long course. I said only if you take theory 2 which is offered next semester. He then said he may take drawing. I rolled my eyes. I hate when students, parents and faculty assume because it has "music" in the title it's easy. I got news for you, it's damned hard. As this students grade reflects. They are shocked by the fact that they need to study and that you can't just coast. I am just doing theory 1 I am not even getting into hard stuff. This is basic foundations of music. I had one of the Vice Principles tell me that some of the students are saying that my music theory class is the hardest class they have. I said good. He looked at me and asked, "It's just music how hard can it be." I swear I would never think to say that to any other faculty member. The closest I would ever come is saying "I found History to be easy but then again I loved History." the fact he said that just emphisizes how little he regards what I do. Or how ignorant he really is.

Uneventful weekend.

This last weekend a 3 day weekend at that found me at home for the majority of the time. I am actually very fine with that. Though on Monday when I actually wanted to get out and do something most people were so exhausted from their weekend escapades that it left me lacking companionship. It's all good I kept myself occupied. I ended up buying a digital video camera, and some shelving for the bathroom. I also did a shload of laundry. I finally saw "The Golden Compass". It was ok but I think I would be far more interested in the book. The story seemed so rushed and lacking in some details that I hope the book would cover and flesh out.

I also went out and bought one of my new favorite movies, "Stardust". It is a super cute movie. I love it in the same way I love "The Princess Bride" it just has such a good sarcastic fairy tale feel to it and really how can you go wrong with sarcasm.

Speaking of snarkiness, apparently some of the kids don't like me on the mic. I think that is a good sign myself. I guess it's that they don't like being called out for jerking around, which if I know who it is does quite often. I look at it this way, if I ask you to listen I expect you to listen not be talking to the person next to you. Here is how you can get me to stop calling you out, do what I ask. I am not asking for you to be quiet all through rehearsal. I feel I am being pretty lenient. But hey I am not here to be your friend I am here to make you better. If you don't want that then by all means drop the class. Well that was my small rant for the day and remember boys and girls. There is no room for sarcasm in a quality education.

Ok Seriously

I can't make this shit up.

http://wonkette.com/402466/ha-levi-johnstons-coming-to-st-paul

With this and Cindy McCain if I were the french I would so want the Republican to win. Because really like we Americans would have room to make fun of anyone.

V.P. Choice

I have to say I was kind of excited to see what the Republicans would come up with in the way of a VP pick. Not excited in the "I think it will be a progressive and great choice." No, more in the vain of excited for the cluster F*&k I have come to admire in the Republican party this election cycle. Boy they didn't disappoint. First let's talk about picking a woman because the Dems didn't. Oh my god I could think of several more qualified, respected and formidable women candidates. If I were Elizabeth Dole, Condi Rice, Christine Todd Whitman or Olympia Snowe I would go up to every man in the McCain Camp and kick them in the balls. Now I understand that there are problems with many of them most of which they are pretty liberal for Republicans, but let's talk about better choices. Do we really want a half term Gov/former mayor of 9,000/beauty queen from Alaska to be a Hardee's thickburger away from running this country. I haven't even gotten into her politics yet. This is a woman who in the election for Govenor was for the Bridge to Nowhere that was ridiculed but Reps and Dems alike on the Hill and then when became Governor said she didn't have a grasp of the budgeting aspect before winning to know that it was a bad plan. Honestly I want my candidates to have a grasp of anything that has to do with the job they are running for. Winging it is not something I want from an elected official. Especially when we are talking national defense or the deficit. Winging it is fine for the front line at McDonalds.



Ok so here we go. She is a feminist I will agree, I being a male feminist would say that feminism is about making choices, not having them made for you. If she wants to have kids great, if she wants to work great, if she wants to believe that even if your 12 yo daughter is raped and pregnant and carrying the child to term could cause serious damage to said 12 yo, that she should keep it. I think is a bit nuts but whatever, your choice. But seriously should we make her 17 yo daughter get married just so the child isn't a "bastard" a bit much. I have known people who do that and end up divorced down the road. I also know people who didn't marry while in high school and wait for both to be in a better place to get married, that may take years but it puts so much less pressure on the marriage and the kid. All that aside, because that just makes her a creepy woman and not someone I would be friends with but doesn't necessarily impact my voting.

I will tell you what does. Her stance on woman's rights to choose. Her stance on health care in this country. As a woman and a feminist I would think she would want as much access to health care for women. Women utilize or should utilize more of the health care system. Look at it this way. We all get sick, given so that is a wash on usage. However we all can't get pregnant. Only roughly 51% of the population can achieve that. So that means all the prenatal visits and health care for mother and unborn. Also the delivery and post delivery care. Wouldn't it be less of a drain on the system if woman had freer access to Dr.s before they give birth and have complications because of poor nutrition or something an ultra sound could catch. Enough about that. She also opposes siting the polar bear as endangered because of climate change effecting it's feeding grounds. She supports drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She vetoed a bill passed by the Alaska state legislator on Nondiscrimination because it had a section including homosexuals.

I could go on but really this is not who I want in the white house. Maybe some people do and that is fine for them. But I am probably not going to be invited to their parties.

What a f@#$ing long day

I just got home and if any one cares to note the time it is 9:30 pm. I left the house at 6:30 am. Yes today was a marathon day. Though only a half day of classes, I had to sessions of meet the teacher. The first was at 1 this afternoon and we were done around 3:30 I had some stuff to work on so I stuck around at 5:30 they feed us and then at 7 we started another round of meet the teacher. I don't have an 8th period so I ducked out before the parents started clogging the exits. I am so very tired. It was good though, I like the parents for the most part.

Now comes the big fun. So we teacher spent a lot of time at school and late mind you so what do we get to do tomorrow? Well another half day of classes and then professional development. To help our inevitable sleepy state what do they bring us? An Open Bar? No, god I wish. A trip to the circus? No, a roller coaster ride? No, a speaker about the developing mind of a teenager? Yes, snooze fest. I tell I am probably fall asleep during this thing a 2 hour lecture. Are you kidding me. The one thing I am making sure is that my phone is charged and there are people to text because damn I plan on being bored.

Things change

and that is good I think.

So after having a conversation with S, in which she asked "Why would you want to be in charge of an organization that is so dysfunctional?" That was of course her response after going through a long litany of problems with the Big Gay Band and the fact I am auditioning for the conductorship. I had to think about it another day and I came to the conclusion that I really didn't want to. I had sat and watch how over 3 years the group has gone through conductors and how we have treated one another and really it's not going to get better and I can only change my behavior, I can't change theirs. To an extent I have changed, before I would bitch along with everyone and get upset. Now I show up, play and occasionally say wtf? But even that isn't fun. Mostly because I see how miserable my friends are in it and that is no fun. So why should I stay. I am hard pressed to find a reason. I like to play but I am confident I can find other venues.

So here I bid the Big Gay Band goodbye and good luck.

So in more upbeat news I am turning 33 in 10 days. I have absolutely no clue what I want to do. I think instead of doing something with all my friends I am going to break it up and do it in smaller groups. Because let's face it, not all of my friends get along, which is fine and I accept that. I would love for all of my friends to like each other for the same reasons I like them but alas never going to happen. Getting my friends together is like watching a 6th grade dance. Boys on one side and girls on another and the two shall never meet. Even in the few times they do it's again like watching 6th graders mingle, no eye contact and stammered conversations. So many oportunities this coming week and weekend to be with people I love.

Oh god that was kinda sappy wasn't it. Ok try this: So many opportunities to have free meals.

Ah that feels better.

Unexpected evening.

So my friend S texts me on Sunday asking to crash at my place Monday and she would explain when she got here. I figured something had gone awry with her family and could no longer stay with them. I was a good guess but no. It had to do with an old friend of hers and the condition of the home. Let's just say I will never feel bad about the way I keep house. I was happy to house her anytime. I had decided to keep things simple and take her to Bazbauex a pizza place downtown and so very good. When she got her she told me that she had pizza the night before I suggested another place I had been trying to get to since it opened last January. It was still very early so I suggested seeing the Library. The library had just reopened after a lengthy and expensive expansion. I love the new library and was a good choice because we ended up getting a couple of books and sitting down with some tea and reading and chatting. I was such a great way to spend my evening. It started getting late and we decided to go to a place near by, the Elbow Room. Usually the service is bad and the food very good. Well the service was great and the food good, except about 20 minutes after we ate we stopped for some tums and I had to use the facilities. After relieved ourselves we walked back to my apartment.

This is where the story get fun. As we approached the front door of the building my new neighbor, scratch that my new hot neighbor was approaching with an arm load of things. I said to wait and I would get the doors and then we help him carry up some of his things. I even got a glimpse into his apartment. Nicely decorated so maybe if I work it I could see more of it if you know what I mean. I also got his name.

Anyway we get back and it is pretty late and we stay up talking. She headed out with me this morning. It was so pleasant and unexpected. I love when shit like that happens.

Score

Ok So apparently if you search google for "isaac hayes funeral chruch bulletin" my blog is the first on the list. I know right? Also welcome reader from Japan who I am sure got here on accident and will never read that greeting. Ah well.

Also some other random funniness, is that really a word? I guess it is because spell check didn't pick up on it but it did find that the person searching for Isaac Hayes Funeral info spelled Church wrong. Anyway click on this link it is safe for work but it does have sound so do what you normally do at work to watch this. Just wait for Skeletor I think that might be the best.

Belligerent Gay Driver, fact or fiction?

This installment is given as evidence that these things really do happen to me. On his latest adventure our hero had a passenger, Blanche. Yes she was a witness to the shenanigans this time around.

driver who decided to pull into the intersection and stop. Why stop you ask? Well she must have seen oncoming traffic and knew she wouldn't make the turn or the drive straight across. Either way kudos for not As BGD picked up trusted friend he found himself almost immediately faced with and ignorant causing an accident, by pulling into traffic. Kudos retracted and a one finger salute given to the cunticle who just sat there half in my lane and just looked at me as if no biggie. Dumb bitch.

While on our way to friend Romeos for a Mojito party given by his roommate and roommates bf. We discovered someone who was either missing a chromosome, a handful of brain cells, or was attempting to commit suicide by just standing in the middle of the street. Standing there as if it were the sidewalk and she was waiting for the bus. Who knows maybe all three of those things are true. At this point Blanche looks at me and says "Wow you really don't make this shit up do you?" At that point I demoed how one can flip off a driver, turn the wheel and honk the horn all at once. I said I could probably even get a text sent as well.

You would think this would be enough Jackassery for one 15 minute drive but oh no we also have some Jackhole pull out in front of me and proceed to slow down at very close range.

Yea this stuff is real and this is why I am an angry driver. Just remember everyone I am a pretty decent shot when the target is moving so just pray I don't ever get a hand gun. I may for go the single finger salute.

Wasting time.

Because of an assembly today my 2 prep periods got put back to back. So instead of delegently prepping for the rest of my classes today I decided to do this instead. I feel this is a better use of my time anyway. The classes are reduced to about 35 minutes so I think I can tread water for most of that.

So I have found that most of the students think I don't swear and if you know me and my frequent usage of words like fuctard or cunticle, you know this to not be true. So it made it very funny this morning when I get to school this morning and 2 of my favorite seniors that just graduated stopped by the office. I closed the door and we were talking and I noticed that I was just dropping swear words left and right. Normally this is how I would talk if I was frustrated and I was but these two had never heard me do that. I look at it this way, they are not my students anymore I don't really care. I don't think they did either they were just finding it very amusing.

I am looking forward to the weekend. Not much to do and no day I have to be up early. I also plan to hit the gym seriously this weekend. I have gone twice this week because I have been afraid to step on a scale after Vegas and my eating habits went to hell and my frequent use of the gym went to nothing. But yesterday I stepped on the scale before heading to the Pride mixer and woo hoo I am 216. Consider I started at 232 this is very good. Before Vegas my last weigh in was 219. So I am trying to convince the Mean Girls to give it another try at the Biggest looser thing. Not so much that I want to win but I would like the motivation. And winning is nice. I somehow became the defacto winner. But that is good.

So we will see.

Tonight we are going over to Romeo's because his roommate is having a mojito party and whenever there is free booze I am there. So hey maybe there will be a drunken blog entry later. *fingers crossed*

So very tired

So Tuesday night I decided to go out late (late for me during school is 9:30pm) and met Mom and the boys for a few minutes at the metro. I paid for it the next morning. I got up yesterday exhausted at 5:45 am. Showered, fixed lunch, got dressed, put all my work back in my bag and drove to work. Ran to my office printed off a few things, fixed three instruments, pulled 2 mouthpieces from horns, got music for two people and grabbed an arm load of extra charts and then headed to the field. It is now 6:45am I get to the field and am bombarded by questions most of which I can't answer at that moment. I get through my day of classes and meet Mom to give her some cd's, I'll tell you about those later. I force myself to the gym and come home make a sandwich and then go to bed at 9pm how sad is that. So this morning I wake up still completely exhausted. Man I need to do something different because I am draggin' ass today.

Is it bad...?

The apartments I am in are resurfacing the parking lot and have been plastering the building with signs saying to move your car out of the lot on Tuesday or it would be towed at the owners expense and they even put the bulletin on the car windows. So really everyone had plenty of notice. So today when I leave for BGB and 10 cars, yes I counted, are still in the lot I am hoping that they stay there and get towed. Sadly when I return from BGB they are all gone. My hope is they were towed but I really know the owners probably just moved them. Is it bad that I wanted to see them towed. I was just getting giddy at the thought.

Yes I know I am evil.

Oh My god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...

oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DSW is now selling shoes online. When did this happen? Why did no one tell me? When I first signed up for the rewards card(yes I have a rewards card for a shoe place) they were not selling shoes on line. I never went back because really I signed up and couldn't buy shoes there so why go back. But just now I almost deleted a promotional email until I noticed online clearance. What's this? maybe they are just doing clearance online but that was enough for me and so I clicked on the link and holy crap they had everything there. I perused and then blocked the site from my computer.

Oh this is dangerous people I think I need to find a sponsor and a support group.

Alright back to unblock and shop laters.

Oh who am I kidding I have had the window open the entire time I have typed this.

Further Tales of Belligerent Gay Driver

When we last saw our hero he was probably flipping someone off. Today we find him being much calmer. When the jackhole on Binford turned right in front of him and made him slam on his breaks and hoping the line of SUV's behind him wouldn't slam into the trunk. He simply swore to himself. I honestly think he was in too much shock that the dickwad would pull that kind of move on that road during rush hour to give the one finger salute and lay on the horn, which is what would normally happen. Later in his drive home idiot number two was taking up two lanes of traffic now normally Belligerent Gay Driver wouldn't care as long as they were going faster, behind him or in another state but this jerk off was in fact in front and moving at a snails pace. But today BGD just gunned it around as soon as the opportunity presented itself and then slowed down in front of the jerk. Satisfied he moves on, this time to gentleman who pulled out of a parking structure at lightening speed about hitting our hero and then gunning past him only to slow down and then turn without a signal. This is where our hero springs to action with a finger out the window a hand on the horn and the battle cry of "Look jackass it's called a turn signal, to signal other drivers you are turning you fuctard." Yes all of this in a 15 minute commute. Who says adventures have to be epic.

Lots to talk about.

What I like about this blog is being able just to recap my day so often I will forget about things that interested me if I don't write them down. So this is helpful I also keep a separate journal that I believe Blanche is afraid of because who knows what I say in that one. :) But this is nice if for no other reason than for me to look back and read, nice memories that way.

Anyway so yesterday was a good day so much was going on. We had our first school mass of the year. To say the Catholic Church and I have had a falling out would be a colossal understatement. The parting of the ways happened almost three years ago at my fathers funeral. The priest that officiated the funeral represented to me the future of the church and he was a dip shit. So I want nothing to do with that church or really any church these days. But the priest at our school is truly a wonderful man. Example, during our faculty meeting on Tuesday a discussion on diversity of the school came up and how little we know of the 20% non catholic students culture and even the cultures of those who are catholic. To emphasis the point the moderator was using different traditions in weddings. Most of them I had seen or knew about. When the moderator made the comment that she personally believed the Man to be the head of the family, Father shot his hand in the air and begged to differ. He said that it was the responsibility of all members of the family to participate fully. When responsibility was abdicated to one person that is when things fall apart. I really had never in my life heard a priest make such a statement before. He also went on to ask if there was no Man in the family who then would run it. I suspect he would have also said if there were two men what then. Because when I was in college his church was the only catholic church in Indy that ran a group for homosexuals and I asked around and it wasn't a conversion group it was there to talk about how to be gay in the catholic faith. Which let me tell you have never found. I know there have been those who have but I have never found it and at this point in my life I don't think I even want to. The church I knew growing up has all but disappeared. One of my favorite things was midnight mass, and now they still call it midnight mass but start at 10pm. And that isn't the only thing they have changed but you know that is fine. I can live without it. So yea this priest I really dig, for being the age of dust he is a very forward thinking man and really reflects a different path of the church one that I feel is more in tune with the people than the pope. So that was mass.

This week I had been coming home and cashing out on the couch right after school but yesterday I wasn't going to let that happen I avoided that by not going home. I just stayed at school and did some work and then went to a recital. The recital was for a student of mine who just graduated and is heading to IU to be a piano performance major. He is one of the most gifted piano players I have ever taught. He is also a very fine trombone player. I say all this with he is 18, there are older better players but for his age and time on each instrument beyond average for that age. His true talent is in Jazz, he understands progressions better than I do. So when he was giving a recital I knew I had to be there. It was phenomenal, I wish I had had half that talent before heading to school. I also wish I could say I had more responsibility for his musical development but so much of it was his own desire to get where he is. I wish him the best of luck at school and I hope someday I can get a free copy of his cds. :)

1 down...

179 to go.

The first day of school went well. Of course the first day is nothing going over syllabi's and waiting to see who will drop or add. Like my 3rd period who most of where in the wrong section they were in Theory 2 but had never taken Theory 1 (the prerequisite) the one who had taken Theory 1 decided not to take Theory 2 and the one girl who "tested" into Theory 2 thought it would be better to take Theory 1. So that entire just switched to a Theory 1 class. It took about half the period to figure all that out. Theory 2 was a class I created last year to teach and when the schedule came out this year Special K was assigned to teach that class. I said "ummm wait that is my class." So they switched me to that and gave her my Applied Music class that can drive me to drink at times. That made me smile. It gets better though. I am already teaching 6 class periods a day with a study hall duty. Special K is also doing the same and one of her classes was 2 different classes in the same period. Well I had somehow eliminated one of my classes by getting kids into their correct classes. I tell you after the day I had I should be a guidance counselor. So I struck a deal with Special K. That I would take the Theory class she had to teach so she would only have one class that period if she would take the Jazz band that met in the morning. She said yes. So I started the day with 2 jazz bands, Concert/Marching band, Theory 2, Theory 1, Applied Recital, Independent Studies, and String Orchestra That is 8 classes to prep for, so now I have 1 Jazz Band, Concert/Marching, Theory 1, Applied recital, Indy Study, and Orchestra 6 classes I have to prep for. I know it sounds like I should shoot myself but this is much better trust me. Especially since I devised a way for the Independent studies kids to write their own syllabus and curriculum's and lesson plans, as part of their grade. I love it. Laziness is the mother of invention. Actually I think it will be a good learning tool for them, I hope it may backfire altogether.

So that was day one, here's hoping it stays relatively stress free. Yea I know... at least if it's stressful you may find it entertaining.

I am not sure...

Looking back at my entry for the Chicago trip I came to the conclusion that our trips are either really boring or I have gotten used to the shenanigans that go on that I over look them when recounting them. I must view them like I do breathing, I know it happens I just don't take note of it every time it happens. So when I forget to tell you about the fact we almost missed our train twice or that not one but two celebrities died or that FN was overly flirty with new people or Romeo said something silly or Blanche did something stupid or I was moody. It's because all that is so second nature to our trips. Everything about our personal foibles is pretty par for the course and so is a celebrity death watch or sudden death of a celeb. But we had 2 celebs die this weekend, so a moment of silence for Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes. I am sure when we were heading home the celebrity community breathed a sigh of relief.

Now as for missing our train that was pretty funny. As I was running out my door quite literally I got a call from FN saying that Romeo was running late and that I had a few extra minutes. I thought, great now I can run to the store and grab a bite to eat. Well apparently noon on a Friday is the time to do your weekly shopping at the downtown Marsh. As I stood with a banana and a coke zero in my hand I got into a line that never moved. there were a grand total of 3 lines open and roughly a thousand people who needed to check out. The funniest, I say funniest but I meant infuriating, part was that each of the 3 lines had people with over flowing carts and then a line of people with one or two items. One guy actually had 2 carts. The line I was in the women was using vouchers that were from the looks of it worth only $3 each and each one had it's own transaction system and 3 employees had to be there to help. You could only scan 2-3 items then print up the receipt and then sign the voucher and have an employee sign it that lather, rinse, repeat. I stood for 15-20 minutes and never moved. I put down my items in line and left. So with that and Romeo running late we had lost our 30 minute cushion and so we couldn't make any unnecessary stops. We were doing well on time except we hit traffic that moved at a snails pace. The funny part was that as we pulled up there was our train. Of course by the time we would have gotten the luggage out and Blanche and Romeo had their cigarettes we wouldn't have made it. So we decided we had 2 hours till the next train lets get lunch. So in East Chicago there is no restaurants, which baffles me because there are a lot of fat people there. so we used all of our 2 hours to find a McDonald's and barely make it back in time to catch the second train. Had it been on time I am not sure we would have made it, which would have just been pathetic on our part. But we made it and all was well.

Wow I was right we are just really boring.

Teacher detention 08

Yes another year is upon my and yet again I found myself in the faculty meeting from hell. Though I must say it wasn't as bad as last year. At least we were not driven to a different location. The day started with a mass and then on to important things. Like blah, blah, blah, crap I don't care about. 3 hours later we had lunch.

Really the whole day just drug on I was so happy when it was over. Not that there was a lot of stupidity, unlike last year. It was just boring. A colegue pointed out that there was no coffee and stated "Don't they know we need coffee because we are not used to being up this early yet." "And it's so damned boring." I added. And it was.

Last year we had an instance where one simple piece of information had to be repeated 9 million times because people were just to stupid to live. Example..."This year first period tardies will be different. Instead of sending students back to the front office to get a pass you will simply mark them tardy in the computer and we will track it in the front office and handle the detentions from there." Simple right? Well apparently this was too much to process because this is what happened next.

Fuctard 1 "So do we send them back to the office if they are late?"
Moderator: "No, just mark them late and we will take care of it."
Fuctard 2: "So when do we give them detentions?"
Moderator: "You don't we will take care of it."
Fuctard 3: "When they come to my class late for first do I send them back down to the main office to get a pass?"
Moderator" "No."
Fuctard 1: "Do we email the front office that people are late?"
Moderator: "No just put it in the attendance program on your computer we will take it from there."
Fuctard 4: "So how do the detentions work, do we hand them out?"
Moderator: "No, we will handle it in the front office."

Now imagine this going on much like this for 20 minutes. So you would understand my frustration when during a presentation about how to make the school a little more green when I believe fuctard 1 asked this question. "So could someone go over first period tardies again." It was bad enough that she had asked that question but what I would like to know is how that had to do with keeping the campus more environmentally sound unless she meant for me to bludgeon her till she died and we used her as organic fertilizer. I swear Teachers make the worst students. I know I was texting for most of the meeting, doodling and talking with my neighbors for most of the time. I was just so bored I was so very close to pulling out a book and reading. Maybe I will do that for our next faculty meeting.

There and back again.

So we made it to Chicago and back in one piece. Spent much of my time this last weekend in a bar and with people I know from Indy. We joked about how this was Greg's North and really not too far off from that. I really enjoyed myself and I am really solidifying that I am such a solitary person and am very fine with that. I spent quite a bit of time away from the boys and really contemplated getting away on my own sometime in the future. I do worry that I will turn into a hermit. Though it is nice to know that I can navigate myself pretty much wherever I need to go and take care of myself. I can also keep myself occupied and entertained. It was a pretty tame weekend all in all. No raging displays of stupidity.

Though I am still amazed at how some people will put themselves out there. Example Sunday night Blanche, Romeo and I were up on the top deck of Sidetracks and sitting on a bench. A man came up and started talking with us, of course Romeo abandoned ship and started texting ignoring all that was happening. Blanche continued talking to the man I gave a pleasant hello. I really had no desire to converse with him. Well Blanche felt I needed to have better relations with this man who was obviously interested because I had at this point twice removed his hand from the inside of my shorts. I was trying to be nice but I absolutely hate when people feel they have the right to invade my personal space. A hand on the shoulder or arm around the waist that is completely different but a hand digging for gold in my pant legs is completely different. I mean good for this man for going for what he wanted but really get the hint and take your hands of my penis.

Aside from Blanche being the worst wing man in history all went well. On the trip I attribute that to the fact I didn't stay with them the entire weekend.

The return of Jack to my life.

So last night in the midst of needing to do lots of things before heading to Chicago this weekend I decided to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch with some friends. I wasn't planning on going out after but I did. I went over to the Metro and ended up hanging out with two friends from High school who had also been at the movie. These two where in the grades behind me but they were always good times. In general I didn't mind the people in my class and there are about a handful that I would like to keep steadier conversations with but that is not enough to make me want to go to class reunions. I went to the 5th and got plastered and didn't go to the 10th and I am not really planning to make it to the 15th next summer. Dear god that was a long time ago.

Anyway back to my story. I am sitting there at the metro and they are doing Karaoke last night and sometimes after singers the host likes to offer shots to those who scream and cheer the loudest. Last night he just said over the mic "Who wants a shot?" and no body said anything so I raised my hand and Yoplait calls me by name to come up to get a shot. I didn't think to much about it but a little later my friend Holly asked if I came here a lot. Then I thought about the fact that the bartender, girl at the door checking IDs and the host of karaoke all knew my name. So yea I guess I go there a lot.

FN and Romeo also were there though I actually never caught back up with them. I spent most of the night hanging with my old friends and some new ones. Yes the acquaintances that I talked about that had their 3rd anniversary were out last night and we ended up chatting and hanging out. Like I said before I really like this couple and would like to become friends with them. It was the first conversation that I actually had with them. It wasn't just idle bar chit chat, so that was nice and refreshing. Maybe it was the 3... wait 4 jack and cokes I had but I had a good time. So by 1:30 am on a Thursday night I stumbled home and went to bed. I got an hour ago and am finishing my laundry before we head to Chicago for market day. Good time. I am sure we will have plenty of stories when we get back.